Different 169 Books Reviews and Books Excerpts on Buddhism Insight Meditation By Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN
1.Your Heart Was- Made for This-Contemplative Practices for Meeting a World in Crisis with Courage, Integrity and Love
A Book Excerpt on Devotion
“We don’t practice devotion to get something in return. We practice it for its own sake, as a complete offering of our heart. Singing my son to sleep in my arms, lowering him gently into a warm bath, even wiping his bottom — done wholeheartedly these acts express full devotion. Shunryu Suzuki Roshi recounts how Dogen, the founder of the Soto school of Zen Buddhism, made a devotional act of fetching water from the river, taking only half a dipper and returning the rest 'without throwing it away…. When we feel the beauty of the river, we intuitively do it in Dogen’s way.'
“In deep devotion the quality of our presence transcends our actions. What we do with wholehearted devotion becomes a holistic expression of our being, an act of beauty and selflessness beyond the everyday realm of time, roles, and duties.”
Your Heart Was Made for ThisContemplative Practices for Meeting a World in Crisis with Courage, Integrity and Love
Book Review by Sun and Planets. Spirituality AYINRIN
There are many books about meditation and the importance of contemplative practices, but few that manage to remain contemplative-centered while drawing timely applications. That’s what Oren Jay Sofer’s book does so well.
A quote from the Buddha is at the top: “Irrigators channel water, fletchers shape arrows, carpenters fashion wood, the wise train themselves.” Sofer proves to be a wise guide himself, through both the waters of Buddhist meditation practice and following those currents into and through modern life. He shows with reflections, meditations, and actions how to cultivate the good and the beautiful, to let them guide your life.
Part One focuses on six qualities for training heart, mind, and body. These are attention, aspiration, energy, mindfulness, stability, and wisdom.
Part Two goes deeper into how energy works in human lives, with chapters on curiosity, courage, renunciation, kindness, ease, patience, and equanimity. These are all what one might call “internal” qualities.
Part Three, midway through the book, begins to point deliberately “outward,” focusing on friendship and how spiritual practices such as mindfulness and attention prepare us to become practitioners of empathy, integrity, resolution, joy, rest, and wonder.
The final Part continues this outward journey with chapters on gratitude, generosity, devotion, play, compassion, contentment, and forgiveness. For example, chapter 21 “Generosity,” includes practical teaching such as this:
“How might generosity function if we questioned the very concept of ownership? Look deeply: What actually belongs to you? Is not everything borrowed in the end? Even your very body is a gift you never could have created. Recognizing that our brief sojourn on the planet requires that we return everything, we begin to see that we own nothing. We are simply caretakers. Can we share accordingly?”
We highly recommend this book for everyone on the spiritual path, Buddhist or not.
2.
We Were Made for These TimesTen Lessons on Moving through Change, Loss, and Disruption
Book Review by Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN
The author of this book may be unfamiliar to you; this is her first. But she is already one of the most experienced Zen teachers resident in the United States.
Her background, explained to the reader at the outset, includes an interracial family and a deep dive into Christianity as a child, including monastic-style daily prayer, missionary work in East Africa, and extended visits to Mexico and Brazil while a teenager. At university, her religious horizons broadened further and she began to practice yoga and meditation. While working on a master’s degree at 23, she visited Plum Village for the first time and says: “I knew I had met my teacher as soon as I saw” Thich Nhat Hanh. She took vows as a nun of the community two years later.
We recommend her book for people of any religious background, or none. Chapter 1, “Coming Home,” refers to “Coming home to ourselves,” which can be accomplished when we practice mindfulness and “being present.” “Accepting What Is” and “Nurturing the Good” are two of the chapters (3 and 9) which one might grasp a bit by their titles.
Some of the chapters are strikingly original. For instance, chapter 5 — “Caring for Strong Emotions” — offers wisdom we don’t often find. Some of it comes from the teacher’s experience and some from her learning of Buddhist psychology. Consider these two quotations:
“If we keep allowing the seed of anger to be watered (either by ourselves or by our environment), we get stuck in a toxic loop that makes it grow bigger and bigger every day and we become trapped in a pattern of constantly getting angered by even small things that didn’t bother us before. This is detrimental to our body and mind; our nervous system was not designed to handle such stress.”
Lingo continues: “Once mindfulness recognizes anger, it begins to accept it and give it space. We open to our experience of anger and allow it to be here. We generate compassion for ourselves, recognizing anger is a part of us so we don’t want to reject or judge it. However, accepting anger doesn’t mean we give it freedom to cause destruction.”
Every chapter is full of spiritual practices. For example, chapter 4 includes a Plum Village song, a “Belly Breathing” meditation, and a step-by-step guide through a “Walking or Moving Mindfully” meditation.
Each chapter concludes with a journaling exercise and prompt. Chapter 1’s “Coming Home” includes these prompts: “What has been your experience of your true home? How do you find your way there?”
3.
Pocket PeaceEffective Practices for Enlightened Living
A Book Excerpt on Kindness
There is an old Hasidic tale about a man who lived in a small village and was known for his generosity. It was said that no one who came to his door left empty handed. One day a beggar appeared, and the kindly man was dismayed because he had absolutely nothing in the house. Then he remembered a gold watch he had put away in a drawer years ago. He got it out and gave it to the beggar. When his wife saw what he had done she yelled at him, "Are you crazy? That watch is worth hundreds. Call that beggar back." So the man called out, "Hey, you, come back here." The beggar came back, and the man said to him, "That watch is worth hundreds. When you sell it, be sure to get a good price." That man was not only generous, he was wise and had an understanding of the real worth of things.
Pocket PeaceEffective Practices for Enlightened Living
Book Review by Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN
Allan Lokos spent the first 30 years of his adult life in the arts as a professional singer on Broadway and in concert and opera. He then attended and graduated from a New York seminary and was ordained as an interfaith minister. His wife became one too, and together they founded the organization that would become the Community Meditation Center which he describes as "a nondogmatic welcoming [place] for spiritual exploration supported by a creative, open-minded community."
People are desperately seeking peace in this turbulent and ever-changing world, Lokos observes. Much of the time they feel frightened about the future and unsure of themselves. That is why it is easy to capitulate to the false enchantments and lures of selfishness, anger, sloth, and greed. Meditation is a practice that can lead to inner peace and joy; it also provides a counter-balance to these toxic emotions. Other spiritual practices can be done in everyday life. Lokos gave the following assignment to members of his community:
"For one week, keep five one-dollar bills on hand and give them to anyone who asks for help, no questions asked. In addition, give that person the gift of your attention, even if just for a minute, and listen to what they have to say."
The community responded very well to this kind of practice, so Lokos decided to create a book filled with more of them. The paperback is organized around qualities based on the Buddhist teachings called "Paramis" or Perfection Practices. There are chapters on generosity, morality, relinquishing, wisdom, joyous effort, patience, truthfulness, determination, lovingkindness, and equanimity.
Lokos offers insightful and always practical commentary on many spiritual matters of consequence including the priceless gift of presence, the importance of intention as an animating force for good, the danger of making quick decisions, the feeling of pleasure without attachment, the negative fallout from the judgmental mind, the challenges of becoming more mindful of the words we speak, the hurtfulness of teasing, and the necessity of recognizing the impermanence of all things.
Here are a few examples of practices:
• "From time to time, when you want to ask for more, ask instead, 'How can I give more?' "
• "Consider letting someone off the hook for a deed they committed or harsh words they spoke."
• "Find a place where you can feel completely at ease and say to yourself, Only I can destroy my peace, and I choose not to do so."
• "When someone is pushing your buttons, replace your annoyance toward that person with the silent wish, May you be happy. Notice how it feels."
4.
Radical AcceptanceEmbracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha
A Book Excerpt on Being Present
Learning to pause is the first step in the practice of Radical Acceptance [i.e., acceptance of ourselves as we are]. A pause is a suspension of activity, a time of temporary disengagement when we are no longer moving toward any goal....
Through the sacred art of pausing, we develop the capacity to stop hiding, to stop running away from our experience. We begin to trust in our natural intelligence, in our naturally wise heart, in our capacity to open to whatever arises.
Radical Acceptance
Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha
By Tara Brach
A lively and diverse compendium of spiritual practices to tap into our innate goodness and to draw it out.
Book Review by Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN
Tara Brach is a clinical psychologist, lecturer, and workshop leader, as well as the founder and senior teacher of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D. C., one of the largest and most active meditation communities on the East Coast. On the opening pages of this timely and important book, the author admits noticing among her clients and meditation students a large number who are severely burdened by a sense of not being good enough, of being essentially flawed or unworthy. As one of Brach's friends said to her: "Feeling that something is wrong with me is the invisible and toxic gas I am always breathing." Of course, a culture that breeds separation and shame is of little help. Often our "trance of unworthiness" is fed by the media and its emphasis upon celebrities. Using illustrative material from her own life, case histories, Buddhist tales, and guided meditations, Brach presents radical acceptance as the antidote to this widespread malaise.
Radical acceptance enables us to see more clearly and to learn how to hold our experiences with compassion. As Carl Rogers once said: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." Brach has put together a rich compendium of spiritual practices that can serve as a counterbalance to established feelings of neglect, judging ourselves and others harshly, and spurning the bounties of the present moment. We especially liked the sacred art of the pause (see the excerpt). Other exercises include embracing life with a smile, developing an embodied presence, discovering your deepest longing, meeting fear, tonglen — awakening the heart of compassion, cultivating a forgiving heart, and communicating with awareness.
Another of Brach's practices makes a great deal of sense and is very accessible to anyone:
"Sometimes the easiest way to appreciate ourselves is by looking through the eyes of someone who loves us. A friend told me that when he sees himself through the eyes of his spiritual teacher, he remembers how deeply devoted he is to seeking the truth. One of my clients realizes he is lovable when he remembers how his grandfather used to delight in his boyish curiosity and inventiveness. Sometimes seeing ourselves through the eyes of a close friend can help us to remember our good qualities. . . We don't have to limit our appreciators to the human world. I once saw a bumper sticker that said: 'Lord, help me to see myself the way my dog sees me' . . . The practice of looking through the eyes of one who loves us can be a powerful and surprisingly direct way to remember our beauty and goodness."
Given the enormity of the problem of self-disregard in these tense and depressing times, the spiritual practices in Radical Acceptance arrive like manna from heaven. Brach also makes a good case for the importance of acknowledging our innate goodness.
5.
Real ChangeMindfulness to Heal Ourselves and the World
Book Review by Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN
"We don't live in isolated silos, disconnected from everybody else — it just feels that way sometimes. What happens to others inevitably affects us. Even if we have been ignoring or unaware of the situation of those we don't know, we can wake up and see that our lives are actually intricately connected. What happens 'over there' never nicely stays 'over there' — it flows out. And what we do over here matters. This interconnectedness is not only a spiritual realization — science shows us this, economics shows us this, environmental awareness certainly shows us this, and even epidemiology shows us this."
So writes Sharon Salzberg at the beginning of this important book. For ten years, this seasoned Buddhist meditation teacher and co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society has wanted to explore the links between activism and the practices of mindfulness and lovingkindness. She believes that change is possible even though many violent, toxic, and dehumanizing forces are at work in the world today. Mindfulness meditation helps strengthen us for the long run; it enables us to deal with our feelings and activate our hearts.
Salzberg writes cogently about the how we can work with anger, grief, and fear in order to create a resilient spirit in a time of unrelenting suffering and woe. In an interesting chapter the author explores making art as social action. She also has some interesting things to say about the emotional burnout, loneliness, and taking care of yourself.
Equanimity is a great gift to those seeking to have an impact on the world. She quotes the poet T.S. Eliot: "For us there is only the trying. The rest is not our business." See the practice for some helpful phrases for practicing equanimity. And see the excerpt for the Buddha's advice on navigating the flood of suffering.
Real Change
Mindfulness to Heal Ourselves and the World
By Sharon Salzberg
A lesson from the Buddha on how to cross a flood of obstacles.
A Book Excerpt on Peace
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"Referring to the flood of suffering, someone once asked the Buddha, 'How did you, Lord Buddha, cross the flood?'
"And the Buddha replied, 'Without lingering, friend, and without hurrying across the flood.'
"And then the question came, 'but how did you, without lingering, without hurrying, cross the flood?'
"The Buddha replied, 'Friend, when I lingered, then I sank; when I hurried, I was swept away. So not lingering, not hurrying, I crossed the flood.'
"I love this example for its sense of great delicacy, of ease, of naturalness. Not lingering, not sinking, not drowning, and also not hurrying, not pushing forward in a hasty or stressful manner because of too much expectation. To understand this beautiful balance, we need to understand what acceptance means.
"Acceptance doesn't mean succumbing to what's going on. When we succumb to a situation, we collapse into it or become immersed in it or possessed by it. While trying to cross the flood, instead of moving, we linger and we drown, we get possessed by the waves of the flood, we are overcome by them. Yet acceptance clearly doesn't mean we struggle against the waves. Trying to push against the waves or push them out of the way exhausts us and is futile. We have to use the momentum of each wave on the crossing to help us go along. But it takes a special kind of strength to be able to be this delicate, to be able to be in the middle of the flood, not sinking and not thrashing around.
"The coming of the flood is only accomplished one moment at a time. The art of this accomplishment is the ability to continually begin again. This is the other side of letting go, the doorway letting go reveals. We set forth, we struggle or get muddled or anxious, we lose our balance, and then realizing it, we begin again. We don't need self-recriminations or blame or anger. We need a reawakening of intention and a willingness to recommit, to be wholehearted once again. "Beginning again is the consummate act of practicing equanimity."
6.
Simply MindfulA 7-Week Course and Personal Handbook for Mindful Living
Book Review by Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN
Donald Altman is a psychotherapist, international mindfulness trainer, an award-winning writer, and former monk who draws out the relevancy of mindfulness to the contemporary world; he is profiled in S&P's Living Spiritual Teachers Project. In this paperback aimed at educators, coaches, counselors, and business persons, he explains the neuroscience of this practice for stress reduction; an overview of how it can bolster creativity, productivity, and creativity; and 35 practical ways mindfulness can be used at home and work.
Over the past decade, Buddhists of all stripes have deluged the marketplace with books on mindfulness and proof of its value using scientific measurements and anecdotal evidence of its practicality. Altman adds a few fresh angles to this well-tread subject and provides a handy index in the back to the books "Experiences and Exercises." Some we appreciated are: Noticing for 3-Minutes, Planting a Friendship Garden, Work Transition Points, and Reflection on Time Spent.
6.
ReflectAwaken to the Wisdom of the Here and Now
Book Review by Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN
"The practice of reflection can help us better understand and accept the nature and mystery of being," writes Donald Altman. The author is known as "America's Mindfulness Coach" for the multiple ways he integrates mindfulness tools, neuroscience, and spiritual values into modern everyday life.
We were first introduced to the wisdom and breadth of interests of this former Buddhist monk when we read Art of the Inner Meal in which he presented a smorgasbord of rituals, practices, and prayers designed to help us see eating as a spiritual path.
Next, we were immensely impressed with Living Kindness: The Buddha's Ten Guiding Principles for a Blessed Life. Here Altman delivers a succinct and enlightening commentary on the manifold meanings of the Ten Paramitas and their ethical ramifications.
Altman has written 13 other books on mindfulness which always incorporate very accessible practices designed to open our hearts and minds to the manifold meanings of life.
In this new book, Reflect: Awaken to the Wisdom of the Here and Now, Altman challenges us to develop our ability to focus on the mundane and the ordinary as we go about our daily duties; this leads to our experiencing these moments as Sacred and Divine. Here's how he describes a practice for doing this:
"Reflection caresses the light suraces and dark shadows of the ego's confining I-dentity. It shines a laser-like beam of clarity on all our deeds, perceptions, and thoughts. It shatters old illusions and dualistic thinking, and allows for new mindsets while breaking the chains of past conditioning. It illumines with surprising insights. It invites fresh ways of seeing and experiencing as it leads us into unexpected and untrodden pathways. It touches whatever we touch; even daily experiences with technology can be transformed when touched by reflection. This is the true seeker's path to reducing suffering, enhancing wisdom, and revealing secret treasures of the spirit."
After an introduction explaining the practice, Altman offers aphorisms to reflect upon, such as: "Your body is forever moving and dancing." "Everyone you encounter today needs love and compassion." "The most important person in your life is whoever is with you now." After a brief commentary on each statement, Altman invites the read to reflect upon in using three questions. The areas covered are:
Simplicity & Peace
Nature
Relationships
Love
Laughter
Bliss
Transformation
Wisdom
To further whet your interest in this lively resource for your spiritual journey, here is a sample of one topic exploring being present:
"Be present with the next small thing, and then the next.
"Make the in-between time count.
Notice all the little moments
of doing the dishes,
walking to the shower,
and hugging your partner.
"The next simple moment
is where you get real-life traction.
"Don't get lost in the future.
You'll get there anyway.
without even trying.
"Reflect on this.
"What in-between moments do you neglect, ignore or push away?
"How could you be more present for the little in-between moments?
"How can you relish and remember today's ordinary moments?"
.
LovingkindnessThe Revolutionary Art of Happiness
A Book Excerpt on Compassion
I handed my passport to a uniformed Soviet official. He looked at my picture, and he looked at me, and he looked at my picture, and he looked at me. The look he gave me was, I think the most hateful stare I have ever received from anybody in my life. It was an icy rage. It was the first time in my life that I had experienced that kind of energy so directly and personally. I just stood there, shocked. Finally, after quite a long period of time, the official handed me back my passport and told me to go.
I went to the transit lounge at the airport, where my traveling companions were waiting for me. I was very upset. I felt as though the man’s energy had poisoned my being. I had absorbed his hatred, and I was reacting strongly to it. Then, in one moment, everything shifted. I thought, “If being exposed to his energy could make me feel so terrible after ten minutes, what would it be like to live inside that energetic vibration all the time?” I realized that this man might wake up, spend much of the day, and go to sleep in a state quite similar to the one I had just experienced from him. A tremendous feeling of compassion came into me for him. He was no longer a threatening enemy, but rather someone in what seemed to be intense suffering.
8.
Freedom from AngerUnderstanding It, Overcoming It, and Finding Joy
Book Review by Sun and Planet Spirituality AYINRIN
"Anger is a dangerous and powerful poison of the mind," writes Ven. Alubomulle Sumanasara, a Buddhist monk schooled in the Theravada tradition. He has written more than 100 books addressing the practical application of Buddhist thought and practice. He spreads the Dharma and teaches meditation in Japan.
Anger is not something that vanishes if you try to suppress it, nor can you just grin and bear it. According to Sumanasara, this volatile emotion disappears when it is watched. He advises:
"The moment anger arises, one should immediately look at it and observe it: 'This is anger. This is how anger feels.' Study the anger and learn from it. Say to yourself, 'Right now, I am experiencing a negative feeling. This is how anger feels. Right now I must be angry. ' Turn the eye that usually watches the outside world and use it to look within yourself."
This practical paperback is divided into four sections: Understanding Anger, Anger Destroys Happiness, Those Who Don't Get Angry, and The Solution to Anger. When we let go of anger, feelings of self-importance, competitiveness, and self-loathing melt away. Wisdom and laughter are antidotes to stave off anger's rages and depressing ways.
9.
Loving-Kindness in Plain EnglishThe Practice of Metta
Book Review by Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN
Bhante Gunaratana was ordained as a Buddhist monk at the age of 12 in Malandeniya, Sri Lanka. He is the author of The Four Foundations of Mindfulness in Plain English, Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness, and several other books. He travels and teaches throughout the world and lives at Bhavann Society Forest Monastery in West Virginia.
In his well-done resource, he sees "loving-friendliness" as a major component of Buddhist practice. When we lavish this natural faculty on all beings, we exude generosity and warm fellow-feeling. The author quotes Joseph Goldstein who says, "Metta (the Pali word for loving-friendliness) does not make distinctions among beings. It embraces all; there is no one who falls outside its domain."
How is this practice nourished, and what stifles it in our daily lives?
Gunaratana points out that mindfulness meditation and relaxation help nurture this seed within us. On the other hand, loving-friendliness is hindered in its expression by rigid thoughts, judgments, and negativity.
Being kind to others follows naturally from cultivating love for ourselves.
The Buddha listed eleven benefits derived from practicing metta including one's mind becomes calm immediately, neither fire nor poison nor weapon affect one, one becomes affectionate to human beings and non-human beings, one sleeps well, and one dies without confusion.
Gunaratana expands his exploration of loving-friendliness with top-notch chapters on communities of metta, stories about the practice, its relationship to ecology, and the challenges of listening, speaking, and working with metta. In summary, the author writes:
"It's the ultimate underlying principle behind all wholesome thoughts, words, and deeds. Metta transcends barriers of religion, culture, geography, language, and nationality. Loving-friendliness is the reliable path to peace, to warm connection. It is a universal and ancient law that binds all of us together. We need it in order to live and work together harmoniously."
10.
No Time Like the PresentFinding Freedom, Love, and Joy Right Where You Are
Book Review by Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN
Jack Kornfield is one of the foremost meditation teachers in the world. As a psychologist and founder of two of the largest Buddhist communities in America, he has helped spread the word about mindfulness. His books, including A Path with Heart and The Wise Heart have sold over a million copies and been translated into 21 languages. He speaks at retreats, conferences, and events around the world. Our profile of his work is included in the Living Spiritual Teachers Project.
Kornfield is a believer in trust as an empowering force in our lives. Despite our suffering and being overwhelmed by problems, we have within us the capacity to be renewed. Or as he puts it: "Hardship and loss are the graduate school of trust; they teach us survival and a freedom that is unshakable."
Kornfield presents many simple spiritual practices, adding in teachings to help you find this experience in your everyday life. Here is an example:
"Take inspiration from those who live with trust, those with a positive spirit even in hard times.
"Here's how: bring to mind a few people you know who inspire you with their trust.
"Notice what it is like when a person lives with trust instead of anxiety. See how they carry themselves. Sense the uplifting effect they have on others. Envision yourself becoming more trusting like them. Picture moving through your day with confidence and trust, relaxed and present.
"Now, remember the times you have felt your own healthy sense of trust, confidence and strength, a love that was not afraid. This trust is within you. Wise trust is not naïve, it sees clearly that some people are not trustworthy, but this does not destroy the overall spirit of trust. It is trust in yourself and life itself.
"Now, remember the times you have felt your own healthy sense of trust, confidence and strength, a love that was not afraid. This trust is within you. Wise trust is not naïve, it sees clearly that some people are not trustworthy, but this does not destroy the overall spirit of trust. It is trust in yourself and life itself.
"Invite your trust to grow, live with it.
"Trust is the gateway to happiness."
Living in the here and now offers a gateway to freedom, peace, and mystery. Kornfield quotes a Tibetan poet:
"One hand on the beauty of the world,
One hand on the suffering of all beings,
And two feet grounded in the present moment."
Making the most of freedom is one of the great challenges of life, and it can lead to following our heart's values and leaning into the wind, or it can result in a close encounter with mistakes that can tutor us in greater self-tenderness. Kornfield states that every life is "a visionary journey, a creative palette."
No Time Like the Present opens our hearts and minds to the glorious freedom that is our birthright and which animates us to service. Near the end of the book, the author quotes Clarissa Pinkola Estes: "Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching to mend the part that is within our reach.".
Real LoveThe Art of Mindful Connection
Book Review by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat
"As human beings we naturally live our lives wanting belonging, connection, a home in this world. We yearn for warmth, for possibility, for the more abundant life that love seems to promise. We sense there is a quality of real love that is possible beyond the narrow straits we have been told to navigate, a possibility that's not idealized or merely abstract. We have an intuition that we can connect much more deeply to ourselves and to one another." This wise observation comes from Sharon Satzberg, a world-renowned meditation teacher who is a regular columnist for On Being, a contributor to Huffington Post, and host of her own podcast called The Metta Hour. She is profiled in S&P's Living Spiritual Teachers Project.
The author of nine books including the S&P Spiritual Book Award-winning Real Happiness, she ardently believes that we have the capacity to experience real love despite the hindrances and warps of our culture and the media. The practices of mindfulness and lovingkindness open the door to this possibility.
Salzberg begins this handbook with the practice of cultivating real love for ourselves with compassion. It serves as an antidote to negative messages from our birth families about our selves. She quotes Maya Angelou who has wisely observed: "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."
The stories we tell ourselves about our experiences and encounters with self and others need to erase all the negativity and reframe what has happened in a more positive light. The stories others tell us should not be the source of our self-esteem but can serve as spurs to personal growth and wisdom insights. Other challenges to loving ourselves are explored by Salzberg in essays on welcoming our emotions, meeting the inner critic, letting go of perfection, becoming embodied, moving beyond shame, taking a stand on happiness, and following your ethical compass.
The sturdiness of the author's overview of loving ourselves paves the way for additional examples of real love for partners, children, parents and siblings, dear friends, colleagues and spiritual teachers. She uses a quotation from Jungian psychologist James Hollis as a prelude to the last sections of the book: "The best thing we can do for our relationship with others . . . is to render our relationship to ourselves more conscious."
Loving and being kind to others is an expression of our common humanity. No gesture is too small when our connection with strangers is at stake. Salzberg ends her sage commentary on the necessity of empathy, dealing with rather than writing off difficult people, seeing inclusion as the face of love, moving from anger to love, and transforming a "No" into a "Yes."
Real Love offers mindfulness exercises and meditation techniques designed to evolve real love into a spiritual maturity animated by compassion, empathy, and inclusion.
11.
Boundless HeartThe Buddha's Path of Kindness, Compassion, Joy, and Equanimity
A Book Excerpt on Compassion
"Empathy and embodiment together are the nature of compassion. Empathy teaches us to listen to and understand suffering and its causes. Embodiment is concerned with what we do with that understanding. Embodiment asks for courage. A compassionate life is a fearless life. It is courage that rescues compassion from being only a fine sentiment restricted to those who are helpless and innocent. It takes great courage to have compassion be the guiding principle of our thoughts, words, and acts. Courage is needed as mindfulness awakens us to the depth and apparent endlessness of suffering in the world. Remarkable courage is needed to stay close to the suffering that feels unbearable. It is courage that enables us to look pain in the eye without wavering. Compassion in its deepest sense is immeasurable. It embraces the most difficult people in our lives, the most brutal people in the world. Compassion is concerned with meeting suffering and uprooting the causes of suffering: the greed, hatred, and confusion that scars the lives and hearts of too many in this world.
"Martin Luther King Jr. reflected on his death and the manner of his funeral, asking that whoever delivered the eulogy should not talk too long. He said, 'Tell them not to mention that I have a Nobel Peace Prize or three or four hundred other awards. I'd like someone to mention that day that Martin Luther King Jr. tried to give his life serving others. I'd like for somebody to say that day that Martin Luther King Jr. tried to love somebody. Say that I was a drum major for justice, for peace and for righteousness. And all of the other shallow things will not matter. I just want to leave a committed life behind.' We remember the young man facing down a tank in Tiananmen Square, the Indian peasants protesting the salt tax walking unarmed into the squads of armed British soldiers, the young nurses serving in the Ebola treatment centers, the nuns in Calcutta going into the dawn to collect the abandoned children. Our hearts are moved in wonder in the face of the heroism embodied by the people who have changed our world, by their dedication to uprooting the causes of suffering. They do so through their acts and their willingness to engage with suffering and its causes. They were not born saints or heroes but found in themselves a courageous commitment to say no to the unacceptable.
The courage of compassion is not the domain only of the saintly. An elderly man takes on the care of his much loved wife, lost in the twilight world of Alzheimer's disease. Parents love and raise cherished disabled children. The young man on the bus confronts the passenger shouting racial abuse. Compassion recognizes the ways in which untold suffering is generated and regenerated through thoughts, words, and acts of ill will, fear, and confusion, and does not turn away. We may indeed feel fearful in the face of cruelty and harshness but know there is something more important than our fear.
"A monk, imprisoned and abused for many years, recounted to the Dalai Lama the story of those years of pain. The Dalai Lama asked him, 'Was there ever a moment when you felt your life was truly in danger?' He replied, 'The most dangerous moments were when I felt myself beginning to lose compassion for my jailers.' "
12
Boundless HeartThe Buddha's Path of Kindness, Compassion, Joy, and Equanimity
Book Review
Christina Feldman is cofounder of the Gaia House retreat center in the UK and is a guiding teacher at the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts. She is coauthor with Jack Kornfield of Soul Food, and author of several other books including Compassion and Silence.
In this gracefully written book, Feldman explicates the four relational qualities which comprise the brahma viharas or the Four Immeasurables: kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. Nurturing them in our daily lives is a noble spiritual practice which can result in healing both the self and the world. Feldman writes:
"The Buddha taught: If I did not think this path and its fruition in liberation was possible for you, I would not ask it of you. Because I know this path of immeasurable freedom is for you, therefore I ask it of you."
Many benefits accrue from these practicing these qualities. One is that we learn to treat all moments with respect, and another is that we pay close attention to the little things which make a big difference in the quality of our lives. Or as the Buddha put it:
"Whether standing, sitting, walking or lying down we abide in kindness, compassion, joy and equanimity. There is no more noble way to live in this world."
13.
Kindfulness
By Ajahn Brahm
Ajahn Brahm on how fault-finding undermines the practice of kindfulness.
A Book Excerpt on Kindness
"We should see the fault-finding mind as a problem, a snake, a danger to be avoided. People sometimes write books with a fault-finding attitude in order to destroy authority, tradition, and institutions.
"It's common in the West to think that fault-finding is good – but this is not so. Some years ago, someone visited Wat Pah Nanachat for three or four weeks and then wrote a book about his experiences. He really blasted the monastery and Ajahn Chah. He focused on everything he thought was wrong, and consequently the book was completely unfair and unbalanced. People do this sort of thing because, as with anger, there's a certain pleasure in fault-finding. But be careful, because the danger far outweighs the pleasure. When you know this, you realize the fault-finding mind is a snake, and you can start to avoid it in the future.
"In my experience, as much as 90 percent of any real practice of kindfulness is about understanding the fault-finding mind. This includes understanding where it comes from, how to avoid it, and how to develop the positive mind – how to see the nine hundred and ninety-eight good bricks, not just the two bad ones, in a wall you've constructed. Instead of fault-finding, try to understand human beings, yourself included, and have forgiveness and loving-kindness.
"Practicing kindfulness means seeing yourself as just a person on the path, this poor little being who has suffered a lot already and who doesn't want more suffering. If you can be at peace with your suffering, you'll find that compulsive fault-finding decreases."
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Kindfulness
Book Review
Ajahn Brahm is the abbot and spiritual director of the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. He has been a monk for more than 30 years. He is the author of five books including Don't Worry, Be Grumpy, The Art of Disappearing, and Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung?
"Don't just be mindful, be kindful" is the advice given by this former forest monk in the first chapter of this spunky paperback. Brahm states: "Every time we're able to apply wisdom to reduce or overcome our problems, that's kindfulness at work."
Both the past and the future refuse to sit still for portraits and so we tend to see them as burdens. Happy are those who choose "silent present moment"; they will discover that they can incarnate "the golden radiance of kindfulness." This character quality is manifested through letting go, resting the mind in the middle of meditation, making peace with sloth and torpor, coping with restlessness, dealing with doubt, and managing anger. Brahm concludes: "Every obstacle is ultimately something that you can recognize, overcome, and move beyond."
There is a practical dimension to Brahm's presentation of the spiritual practice of kindness that makes it very appealing.
15.
Finding True RefugeMeditations for Difficult Times
Book Review
Tara Brach has practiced and taught meditation for over 35 years, with an emphasis on vipassana (mindfulness or insight) meditation. She is the senior teacher and founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. A clinical psychologist, she is the author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge. For more information on her work, visit www.tarabrach.com.
On this audio program, Brach delivers spiritual teachings on three CDs. She is interested in how we can find, at any time and in any circumstance, a refuge providing safety, nurturing, and peace. She covers practices that give entry into an inner sanctuary: truth, love, and awareness. She also offers eight guided meditations on mindfulness, releasing fear through self-compassion, and letting go of the desire for control and certainty, and cultivating a forgiving heart.
Many serious people today are looking for refuge in this world of loss and destruction. Their quest is not to escape from reality but to learn how to live with fear and confusion in healthy life-affirming ways. Tara Brach provides excellent guidance on this path.
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Life is Spiritual PracticeAchieving Happiness with the Ten Perfections
Book Review
Jean Smith is the author of numerous books including 365 Zen, A Beginner's Guide to Zen Buddhism, and Breath Sweeps Mind. She is a longtime associate of the Insight Meditation Society and is the head of the executive board of the Mountain Retreat Center in Taos, New Mexico, where she lives.
For Buddhists, the ten paramis or perfections are heart-mind qualities which formed the basic teachings of the Buddha. According to Smith, these qualities are ones we already have and can learn to develop. Those who are serious about spiritual practice will want to embrace four goals in reference to these teachings:
• "Establish the heartfelt intention to want to lead a 'good' life.
• Identify the heart-mind qualities we want to actualize.
• Cultivate mindfulness to recognize the presence or absence of those qualities.
• Resolve to make those qualities central to our lives."
In the first four chapters, Smith sets the stage by exploring the Foundations for Happiness: suffering, impermanence, karma and mindfulness. In the introduction to the Perfections, she writes:
"The perfections are ten specific ways of benefitting other beings -- when they are undertaken with mindfulness, compassion, and skillful means, when they are cultivated with the aspiration for liberation for oneself and all beings. The opposites of all perfections are greed, hatred, and delusion."
These "sacred adornments of the heart" are not specifically Buddhist but have universal applications and resonance. Here is the list of the ten along with a resolution and a mantra for each one:
1. Generosity — Resolution: May my heart be open to give and to receive with joy and ease. Mantra: May I give with joy.
2. Ethical Integrity — Resolution: May ethical integrity in thoughts, words, and actions be my gift to myself and the beings around me. Mantra: May I give freedom from fear to all beings.
3. Renunciation — Resolution: May I renounce and let go of anything that does not lead to liberation and compassion for all beings. Mantra: May I let go of ever harming other beings.
4. Wisdom — Resolution: With discernment and insight, may I make choices that lead to compassion and liberation. Mantra: May my choices be wise and compassionate.
5. Wise Effort — Resolution: May I awaken and sustain the perfections in my life. Mantra: May goodness energize my life.
6. Patience — Resolution: May I be patient and forgiving when self-centered fear or anger arises, accepting things just as they are. Mantra: May I be patient and forgiving to all.
7. Truthfulness — Resolution: May I be truthful with myself so that there is harmony between what I say, what I do, and who I am. Mantra: May I be truthful with myself and others.
8. Resolve — Resolution: May I resolve to practice for my deepest liberation. Mantra: May I resolve to practice for the benefit of all beings.
9. Loving-Kindness — Resolution: May cultivating metta practice concentrate my mind and open my heart. Mantra: May loving-kindness define my relationships with others.
10. Equanimity — Resolution: Balanced in body, heart, and mind, may I be nonreactive to what arises and passes away. Mantra: May I be nonreactive to the unexpected changes of life.
Smith knows that spiritual practice is all important here. She encloses "Practice and Reflection" section on each of the 10 Perfections. For added value, you will find instructions for an at-home self-retreat.
16.
Refuge RecoveryA Buddhist Path to Recovering from Addiction
Book Review
Noah Levine has been using Buddhist practices to recover from addiction since 1998. He is the founding teacher of Against the Stream Meditation Society. Visit the author online at www.refugerecovery.org and www.againstthestream.org.
"Refuge Recovery is a practice, a process, a set of tools, a treatment, and a path to healing addiction and the suffering caused by addiction," Levine writes in the introduction. Because Buddhism offers a nontheistic approach to problems, there is no pressure put on addicts to believe anything, only to trust the process and do the hard work of recovery.
According to Levine, addiction creates suffering in the addict and those who are close to him/her. Although the cause is repetitive craving, there is a path to recovery through the Fourth Noble Truth and the Eightfold Path. The intention to renounce greed, hatred, and delusion is an intention that can animate addicts to "practice honesty, humility and live with integrity."
A central aspect of Refuge Recovery is being involved in a community and that is why Levine hands the second half of this paperback over to members of this organization, including a number of people who have successfully recovered using Buddhist practices such as meditation, loving-kindness, compassion, appreciation, and equanimity. The spiritual practice of forgiveness is directed to all those the addict has harmed through his/her words and actions. Those who commit themselves to never walking down the streets of intoxication and indulgence anymore are firmly on the road to recovery.
17.
Through the FlamesOvercoming Disaster Through Compassion, Patience, and Determination
A Book Excerpt on Gratitude
"Under affliction in the very depths, stop and contemplate what you have to be grateful for."
— Mary Baker Eddy, founder of Christian Science
"When bedridden or otherwise hampered by illness or injury, we may experience an identity crisis. When we are unable to carry on with our usual activities, it is not uncommon to feel a loss of purpose. We must face issues like an identity crisis or a sense of purposelessness realistically, because successfully traversing the healing journey requires that we proceed with the lightness of a bright heart. Loss, real or imagined, can weigh heavily upon us. Our daily activities — work, family, socializing, and the like — are important to us. They take up most of our waking hours. Yet there are times when we cannot be physically active. If we find that we cannot do, we must learn how to be.
"Daily life presents us with ample opportunities to practice gratitude, most of which we tend to view as annoyances: waiting in line in the supermarket, traffic jams, airport delays, and so forth. From an idealistic point of view we can posture and say that we should not have to practice gratitude. We should simply be grateful. On a spiritually lofty level that may be true, but in a real-world, earthly existence it may not always be so. The ubiquitous nature of dukkha requires of us a conscious approach to gratitude if we are to avoid the bleakness of loneliness and despair.
"People are not grateful because
they are happy,
they are happy because they are grateful."
— Br. David Steindl-Rast
"Gratitude is one of the fastest-acting remedies available to us. One moment, one quick reminder to ourselves of all that we have to be grateful for will lift our spirits. Meditation, on the other hand, while of extraordinary value, takes time to develop, as does physical fitness. Gratitude is instantaneous. When we look deeply, no matter what has befallen us, there is always something for which to be grateful. My friend, the great Native American sculptor Michael Naranjo, was blinded and lost the use of most of his right hand in the Vietnam War. He told me that although there were times when he was frightened, he always knew that he would be all right because he was alive and his mind was clear. For that, he was grateful.
"When we hear about a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer, or another who has been injured in an accident, or a neighbor whose husband has died, we might think, How can I complain about my fractured ankle? I should be grateful. But suffering and distress are not comparative matters. There is no prize for the person who suffers the most. We can have great compassion for those who are under duress, but that embraces all beings, including ourselves. No one goes through life without experiencing dukkha. Gratitude is a practice that can dramatically change the way we deal with misfortune. Illness, old age, accidents, and abusiveness can all push gratefulness out of our hearts.
"Our practice is to be present to all that is, not just fragments of the whole. We are not just elderly, or ill, or one who has been injured. There is much more to all of us, and in the whole being there is much for which each of us can be grateful. As author Agatha Christie said, 'I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable ... but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.' "
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Don't Worry, Be GrumpyInspiring Stories for Making the Most of Each Moment
A Buddhist monk for more than 30 years, Ajahn Brahm is the abbot and spiritual director of the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. He is in demand worldwide as both a spiritual teacher and popular speaker. We relished his two books Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung, 108 teaching stories brimming with humor, humanity, and good will; and The Art of Disappearing, an illuminating work about the pleasure of the Buddhist path of renunciation and fading away.
With the wisdom that comes with age, Ajahn Brahm shares 108 stories about ordinary people squaring off against the challenges of each new day. The author notes that in Buddhism getting angry and insulting your partner is viewed as "temporary insanity." Considering this behavior from that perspective, we can respond with empathy and equanimity rather than rage or sulking. Couples who regard difficulties as their problem can work on finding solutions together.
Many of us carry around bad memories that haunt us. Brahm suggests we regularly do a purge of the photo album in our heads. We are bothered not only by bad vibes from the past but also by the stress of the present moment. Brahm advises that we give ourselves a half-hour break in the middle of the day to rejuvenate ourselves. This creative spiritual teacher takes this practice one step further by declaring that "kindfulness" is the animating force behind all relaxation.
Brahm, ever the playful one, ends with a Happiness License stating: "This document officially grants the bearer a perpetual right to be happy, for any reason or no reason at all, without let or hindrance. Let no one infringe on this right."
19.
Dipa Ma
The Life and Legacy of a Buddhist Master
By Amy Schmidt
A quote about life as once continuous blessing.
A Book Excerpt on Love
A Quote about Blessing from Dipa Ma by Amy Schmidt
Life as One Continuous Blessing
"Dipa Ma (a Hindu holy woman) made her life one continuous blessing. She offered blessings to all. She blessed people head to toe, blowing on them, chanting over them, stroking their hair. Practicing this blessing throughout the day can make the ordinary become something special."
See our map of The Blessing Path
20.
Coffee with the Buddha
A Book Excerpt on Being Present
"Life is continually in flux, a stream of phenomena arising and passing away. Like suffering and non-self, impermanence is one of the three marks of existence revealed to the Buddha on the night of his enlightenment. He pointed out the pain and disappointment we inevitably experience if we cling to what can't last. Only nirvana — the unconditioned — escapes the inexorability of time. Impermanence isn't all bad, however. Without change, there would be no life, no growth, no opportunity for spiritual awakening."
"Impermanence seems to be central to your teachings. Why is it such a big deal?
"Impermanence, or anicca in Pali, is one of the three basic characteristics of samsara — the world as we know it. It's intimately entwined with the other two characteristics: dukkha, the truth of suffering, and anatta, or non-self — the truth that phenomena have no intrinsic, enduring substance. Impermanence tells us that people and objects are inconstant and transitory, that thoughts and feelings are as ephemeral as foam atop a wave. Though impermanence is a reality — a natural law — we strongly resist it, for change leads to the pain and disappointment of loss. The most difficult change we face is the ultimate inescapable loss — death.
"But we all know death is inevitable, don't we?
"Knowing the truth and accepting it are very different things. A classic example is the story of Kisa Gotami, who could not accept that her young son had died. Clutching his lifeless body, she went from neighbor to neighbor, begging for medicine to cure him. One man took pity on her and said, 'I don't have the medicine you need, but I know someone who does.' When she came to me demanding the remedy, I sent her off to collect a mustard seed from every house in which no one had died. Empty-handed after a long search, she realized that death is universal, and was finally able to accept her loss. At the same time, she learned that there's a path to the deathless — to nirvana — for those who let go of their attachment to life.
"Are you suggesting that liberation is possible only for those who stop caring about anything?
"Letting go of attachment to life doesn't mean not caring. It means understanding that the pain of everyday experience comes from denying the truth of impermanence. When we fail to accept it, we get caught up in the vicissitudes of life, the 'eight worldly conditions' — gain and loss, fame and disrepute, praise and blame, pleasure and pain — and are at the mercy of our likes and dislikes. Accepting that life is transitory lets you ease your grip on it. When you're not desperately clinging to something, you're free to care for it in a relaxed and loving way.
"But if change and loss are inevitable, doesn't that make life pretty futile?
"Change isn't always negative. It's the very essence of life — it's vital to growth. Without change, existence would indeed be futile: there could be no righting of wrongs, no learning, no possibility of spiritual awakening. Just as what we like inevitably changes or leaves, so too what we don't like passes. Just observe your mind at work, and you'll see this. Thoughts and feelings change constantly.
"But if everything is inconstant and unreliable, what basis is there for caring? It's pretty hard to care for anything without forming some sort of attachment to it.
"As you become aware that nothing lasts forever, you can deepen your appreciation for things as they are now, and not pin your hopes on what may or may not happen in the future."
21.
Happiness Is An Inside Job
Practicing For a Joyful Life
By Sylvia Boorstein
Sylvia Boorstein's story about stage fright and gratitude.
A Book Excerpt on Gratitude
"If ever I have a moment of 'stage fright' — it happens sometimes just before I start to teach a large audience in a city far from home — I look out at the group and think, first of all, 'I love you.' I really do. It's a shorthand reminder to myself that everyone who has come is planning to enjoy hearing what I say. They have not come as critics. They've come as friends. They are 'on my side.' I look at the people in front of me as if I expect to recognize someone — and, in fact, everyone looks like somebody. As soon as I smile, people smile back, and my sense of 'Uh-oh, I don't know anyone here' changes to 'We are familiar strangers.' Then I relax, start to tell a story, and feel quite at home.
"Of course, the easiest teaching situations are ones in which I don't need to remind myself that people will be glad to hear me because the community itself reminds me. The Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, in Lenox, Massachusetts, where I've been a guest teacher for more than a decade, does appreciation as a spiritual practice. The program brochure doesn't say that — yoga classes and psychology seminars are the listed offerings — but you feel a definite texture of goodwill in the air as soon as you arrive there.
"When I took my daughter Emily with me to Kripalu for her first visit — I was to be a speaker at a conference there on yoga and Buddhism — she could feel the communal good mood immediately. 'Something magic is going on here,' she said. 'People are incredibly nice to each other.' Our hypothesis was that the yoga and the meditation — there were practice sessions all day between the conference program presentations, and Emily and I did them together — relaxed everyone's mind so that natural appreciation, everyone thanking at every opportunity, participants as well as presenters, took over. 'Thank you for that class.' 'Thank you for being such attentive participants.' 'Thank you.' 'Thank you.'
"Also, every conference speaker was introduced with abundant praise for his or her talents, and each presentation was followed with immediate praise for its most outstanding points. After I spoke, Emily asked, 'Did you get nervous, Mom, with so many people there? You didn't sound like it. You looked like you were having a really good time.'
" 'I was having a great time,' I replied. 'By the time Kavi finished introducing me, I was so pleased by the great things he said about me, I felt like I couldn't make a mistake. I was thrilled to be teaching, and I think I taught better than I ever have. It never occurred to me that I should worry.' ”
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