Buddhism Insight Meditation 88 Spiritual Practices By Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN.
1.
Ways to Kindness
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
Ways of Increasing the Force of Kindness in Your Life
Reflect on someone in your life who has reached out to you in kindness – how do you regard him or her?
Think about your degree of confidence in yourself. What factors have helped enhance it or decrease it?
Reflect on why kindness might be considered a force instead of a weakness.
Make the effort to thank someone each day. Notice what is created between you and the other person in that way.
Reflect on who you admire in life, and why.
Way to Offer Lovingkindness to Others
Pay full attention and really look at and listen to someone you usually ignore or find annoying.
Ways to Bring Kindness to All
Before a meal, take a moment and reflect on those far-flung people involved in your enjoying that meal – the people who grew it, the people who transported it, stored it, and prepared it.
Stay open to surprise. Roles and relationships are constantly changing. Reflect on how we go up and we go down all of the time.
To practice: To increase kindness in your life, choose one of these suggestions for reflection or action today.
— Sharon Salzberg in The Force of Kindness.
2.
Ethics of Kindness
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
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Practice generosity of the spirit. Take the time to smile at someone, to wish him or her well, to offer them a place in a line or a seat on the bus.
Make a conscious effort to let go of self-recriminations, and move forward with new resolve if you have broken a precept.
In the spirit of self-examination and adventure, fill in the blanks yourself in the statement, "If you want to be a rebel, ________________."
To practice: A generous spirit, self-forgiveness, and curiosity about taking risks are all aspects of the ethics of kindness. Choose one of these ideas to build into your life today.
— Sharon Salzberg in The Force of Kindness.
3.
Cradling the Breath
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
Try this. Sometimes in my own practice I use the image of holding something very fragile, very precious, as if I had something made of glass in my hand. If I were to grab it too tightly, it would shatter and break, but if I were to get lazy or negligent, my hand would open and the fragile object would fall and break. So I just cradle it, I'm in touch with it, I cherish it. That's the way we can be with each breath. We don't want to grab it too tightly or be too loose; too energized or too relaxed. We meet and cherish this moment, this breath, one breath at a time.
4.
Do a Task Slo-Mo
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
Try this. Restore your attention, or bring it to a new level, by dramatically slowing down whatever you're doing. If you're eating lunch, feel the sensation of the food on your tongue or the pressure of your teeth as you chew, your holding of a fork or spoon, the movement of your arm as you bring the food to your mouth. These specific components of an action maybe invisible as you speed through your day.
Try slowing down when you're washing dishes, bringing your awareness to every part of the process – filling the sink with water, squirting in the detergent, scraping the dishes, immersing them, scrubbing, rinsing, drying. Don't hurry though any of the steps; zero in on the sensory details. See if you can be in the present moment as you wash one item. Do you feel calm? Bored? Notice your emotions as they come and go – impatience, weariness, resentment, contentment. Whatever thoughts or feelings arise, try to meet them with the gentle acknowledgement, This is what's happening right now, and it's perfectly okay.
Meditation on Calling Up Difficult Emotions
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
Sit comfortably or lie down, with your eyes closed or open. Center your attention on the feeling of the breath, wherever it's easiest for you – just normal, natural breath. If it helps, use the mental note in, out, or rising, falling.
After a few moments of following your breath, consciously bring to mind a difficult or troubling feeling or situation from the recent or distant past, a scenario that holds intense emotion for you – sadness, fear, shame, or anger. Take a moment to recall fully the situation. Doing that isn't likely to feel comfortable, but stick with it. At any point, you can return to following your breath for respite.
What bodily sensations accompany the emotions this scenario calls up? See if you can tell where in your body you feel these emotions. When you observe the emotion that's arisen, does you mouth go dry? Are you breathing shallowly? Are you clenching your teeth? Is there a lump in your throat? Whatever is happening in your body, note it. If you can feel the emotion in the body (and we can't always do that), it gives you a concrete way to disengage from the story and observe the emotion's changing nature.
Bring your focus to the part of the body where those sensations are the strongest. You don't have to do anything about them except be aware of them. Once your attention has moved to the bodily sensations, perhaps say to yourself, It's okay; whatever it is, it's okay; I can feel this without pushing it away or getting caught up in it. Stay with the awareness of the feelings in your body and your relationship to them, accepting them, letting them be, softening and opening to them. As you sit with them awhile, do the sensations change? How?
Remember that often what we are feeling is not just one emotion; grief may include moments of sorrow, moments of fear, of powerlessness, maybe even moments of relief, anticipation, curiosity. See if you can break down the emotion into its component parts. Notice all the different things you feel. Are there any positive mind states mixed in with the mostly negative? Any negative mind states flavoring the positive? Staying with the feeling and untangling the various strands may lead you to realize that what you thought was a thick wall of misery is a constantly shifting combination of emotions. The perception alone makes the feelings more manageable.
You may notice yourself resisting these difficult emotions and the bodily sensations that accompany them – pushing them away and feeling ashamed of them. Or perhaps you find yourself getting pulled into them – replaying an argument, or reliving feelings of rage, helplessness, or humiliation.
Perhaps the emotions that the thought or situation call up are so upsetting that you start to cry. If you do, that's okay; it's part of your experience. You can become aware of how you're relating to the tears – how your body reacts, what blend of emotions accompanies the crying, what stories you tell yourself about crying. Maybe mixed in with your sadness is regret, irritation, or fear that the tears will never stop.
If you feel overwhelmed by emotions, use awareness of your breath to anchor your attention in your body. This helps you return to the present moment. If you find yourself thinking, I will always feel this way, or If only I were stronger/more patient/smarter/kinder, I wouldn't feel this way, return to the simple truth of the moment – sitting and being aware of your breath. See if you can recognize that the emotion is a temporary state, not your total self.
And when you are ready, open your eyes. Take a deep breath and relax.
During the day, if a difficult emotion arises, see if you can apply these skills of awareness to it.
— Sharon Salzberg in Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation by Sharon Salzaberg.
6.
Enough Happiness to Go Around
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
Try this. Sometimes when I’m having a hard time feeling sympathetic joy for another person’s good fortune, I ask myself the question: What would I gain from this person’s not getting such and such? And it is quite clear to me that I don’t benefit at all from someone else’s loss.
Often, without consciously realizing it, we’re convinced that the good thing someone else got was destined for us but got detoured to them by some hideous, unjust twist of fate. But, of course, we need to look at that assumption.
Cultivating sympathetic joy opens the door to realizing that the happiness of others doesn’t take anything away from us. In fact, the more joy and success there is in the world, the better it is for everyone.
Lovingkindness Meditation for Times of Emotional or Physical Pain
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
Our intuitive wisdom often tells us to let go, to be peaceful, to relinquish efforts to control. But our cultural conditioning and personal history tell us we should hold on to people, pleasure, and distractions in order to be happy. Often we find ourselves in a struggle between our own wisdom and our conditioning about clinging and control. An especially important time to heed our intuition is when we're challenged by emotional or physical pain.
This meditation may help you do that. Use one, two, or even three of the lovingkindness phrases below. Alter them in any way you like, or create new phrases that have personal significance.
First try this practice for five to ten minutes. Then move on to a Breathing Meditation…or the Lovingkindness Practice…. If you find that sadness, distress, fear, or discomfort continue to divert your attention, go back to experimenting with the phrases in response to your pain.
Start by sitting or lying on the floor comfortably and take a few deep, soft breaths to let your body settle. Bring your attention to your breath, and begin to say silently your chosen phrases in rhythm with the breath. Or simply settle your attention on the phrases themselves. Feel the meaning of what you are saying, but don't try to force any particular emotional response. Let the practice carry you along.
- May I accept this pain without thinking it makes me bad or wrong.
- May I remember that my consciousness is much vaster than this body.
- May all those who have helped me be safe, be happy, be peaceful.
- May all beings everywhere be safe, be happy, be peaceful.
- May my love for myself and others flow without limit.
- May the power of lovingkindness support me.
- May I be open to the unknown, like a bird flying free.
- May I accept my anger, fear, and worry, knowing that my heart is not limited by them.
- May I be free of danger, may I be peaceful.
- May I be free from anger, fear, and regret.
- May I live and die in ease.
When you feel ready, open your eyes.
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Finding the Potential in Pain
Spiritual Practice by Sayadaw U Pandita
When pain arises, the first strategy is to send your attention straight toward it, right to the center of it. You try to penetrate its core. Seeing pain as pain, note it persistently, trying to get under its surface so that you do not react.
Perhaps you try very hard, but you still become fatigued. Pain can exhaust the mind. If you cannot maintain a reasonable level of energy, mindfulness, and concentration, it is time to gracefully withdraw. The second strategy for dealing with pain is to play with it. You go into it and then you relax a bit. You keep your attention on the pain, but you loosen the intensity of mindfulness and concentration. This gives your mind a rest. Then you go in again as closely as you can; and if you are not successful you retreat again. You go in and out, back and forth, two or three times.
If the pain is still strong and you find your mind becoming tight and constricted despite these tactics, it is time for a graceful surrender. This does not mean shifting your physical position just yet. It means shifting the position of your mindfulness. Completely ignore the pain and put your mind on the rising and falling or whatever primary object you are using [for your meditation]. Try to concentrate so strongly on this that the pain is blocked out of your awareness.
Walking Meditation
Spiritual Practice by Jack Kornfield
The natural ease of walking can be used as a direct and simple way to bring centeredness and peace into our life. Walking becomes a meditation when we bring a careful and present attention to each step we take. Walking becomes a meditation when we feel ourselves fully here on the earth.
To learn walking meditation, select a place to walk back and forth at a leisurely rate, fifteen to thirty paces in length. Stand at the end of this 'walking path.' Feel your feet on the floor, on the earth. Sense the environment around you. Be aware of yourself and your surroundings until you feel quiet and composed. Then begin to walk. Focus your attention on your body, feeling each step as you lift your foot and place it back on the earth. As you sense each step, return your foot to the earth with care. Walk upright in a relaxed and dignified fashion. When you get to the end of your path, pause briefly and then turn around. Stand and center yourself then and be aware of the first step as you begin again. You can walk at whatever speed keeps you most present.
Walk with careful attention to each step for fifteen or twenty minutes. Usually when we walk we are distracted by a hundred other things. As you walk in meditation, try to let the thoughts and images that arise remain in the background. Even so, you will regularly get carried away by thoughts. When this happens, simply stop walking and be aware of the thoughts. Then quietly re-center yourself and take the next step. Keep coming back to your footsteps in this simple way. At times you may wish to do a period of walking meditation alone. On other days you might walk for ten or fifteen minutes before beginning a sitting mediation.
After some practice you can learn to use walking meditation to calm and collect yourself, to become truly present in your body. You can extend this walking practice in informal ways, when you go shopping, when you walk down the street or to and from your car. You can learn to enjoy walking for its own sake instead of combining it with the usual planning and thinking. In this simple way you can move through life wakefully. With your whole body, heat and mind together in harmony.
Compassion for Yourself
Spiritual Practice by Christina Feldman
Find a posture in which you can relax and be still. Take a few moments to attend to your body, consciously softening any areas where there is tension or holding. Take a few slightly fuller breaths, with each out breath allowing your mind and body to increasingly relax and soften. With each out breath, release any agitation within your mind. Allow your attention to settle fully within your body and your breath.
Take a few moments to be aware of the life of your body — how it has been in the past, how it is now in the present, and how it may be in the future. Sense how your body holds all the seasons of life — birth, aging, and death. Reflect on the joy and delight you have found within and through your body. Reflect too on the pain, frailty, and illness that is also part of your body's life. Take a moment to reflect on the painfulness of fear, resistance, and blame you can bring to your body as it goes through its changes. As you open to the life of your body, sense how you are exploring and connecting with the life of all bodies.
Sense whether it is possible to hold the pain, frailty, and aging of your body within a compassionate attention that is free of blame and rejection. If there is any area of your body that is painful or ill at this moment, bring your attention directly to that place of pain without demand or fear. Offer your body the compassion that can embrace all struggle and suffering.
May I find healing.
May I find peace.
May I find openness of heart.
As you are present, allow the stories of your body, your fears of the future, to soften and be still. Sense any waves of resistance or aversion for your body that appear. Let them too be held within compassionate attention, rejecting nothing, embracing your body and your relationship to your body with an unconditional tenderness and care.
May I find stillness within change.
May I find the acceptance that allows me to be present in this body.
May my body be at peace.
Allow your attention to expand to embrace the life of your mind in all the ways that you experience it. The times of confusion and chaos, the moments of stillness and calm, the times of obsession and anxiety, the moments of ease and wisdom — let them all be held within a compassionate attention. Sense the moments when your mind seems to be lost within cascades of judgment and blame. Sense too the moments when your mind is an ally and a refuge. Release the blame, the insistence, the demand that you place upon your mind. Sense deeply the great pain and sorrow of a mind not at ease with itself, the torment of being lost in confusion.
Offer to yourself the compassionate attention that rejects nothing, that is free of blame — the compassion that can receive all sorrow.
May my mind find peace.
May my mind be at ease.
May my mind be safe and protected.
Allow your attention to expand to embrace the life of your heart. Reflect on the boundless sorrow you can feel in your heart, the world of loneliness, fear, grief, rage, jealousy, loss, and mistrust. Sense too the moments of joy your heart delights in — intimacy, love, tenderness, appreciation, generosity. Be aware of the need to bring compassion into all the moments of turmoil and darkness your heart can hold. Offer to yourself, bring into your heart, the compassion that has no boundaries, that can embrace all sorrow.
Moment by moment, open into the places you are prone to flee from or deny within your own body, mind, and heart. Receive the life you are living with a heart of compassion. Soften into the healing that is possible in this moment. Rest in a compassion boundless enough to embrace all sorrow.
— Christina Feldman in Compassion.
11.
Compassion without Boundaries
Spiritual Practice by Christina Feldman
Settle into a calm and centered posture. Breathe gently and sense the life of your body, mind, and heart in this moment. Sense your own yearning for peace, safety, and well-being. Notice how your heart can open to embrace those you care for, feeling their sorrow and responding with a natural compassion. Offer to yourself, to the one you love, the articulated intentions of compassion.
Let your attention rest gently in these phrases for a time, and then allow the range of your attention and compassion to expand. Sense the countless beings in this world who in this moment have their own measure of anguish, their own longings for peace and healing. Imagine yourself seated in the center of a mandala, surrounded by the innumerable beings who at this moment are hungry, bereft, afraid, or in pain. Imagine yourself breathing in that immeasurable pain, the sorrow and the ignorance that causes sorrow. With each out breath, sense yourself breathing out unconditional compassion.
Allow yourself to sense the countless beings in the world who are ill or dying, who are grieving, who are lonely and estranged. Embrace in your attention those who are imprisoned and those who imprison, those who are caught in the terrors of war and violence and those who war and inflict violence. Without reservation enfold all beings in a heart of compassion.
Let your heart fill with the compassion possible for all of us, the compassion that listens deeply to the cries of the world.
Transforming Fear of Death
Spiritual Practice by Tara Tulku Rinpoche, David Guy, Larry Rosenberg
The Cambridge Insight Meditation Center hosted Tara Tulku Rinpoche some years ago. Before he gave a talk he would finger the beads that some Tibetans carry and make a certain sound three times. I thought he must be intoning some special mantra. Finally I asked him about it and he said he was repeating a simple phrase: "I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die." The idea was that those words would keep him from any inflated ideas he might have of being a teacher or some kind of expert. All of his supposed expertise and authority would come to nothing.
I keep various mementos around to remind me of the same thing. One is the skull of a dead lama. Another is a set of beads made from the bones of a dead lama. It was taken from the remains of a corpse after what is called a sky burial, in which vultures are allowed to consume a corpse as a last act of compassion. And the beads that Tara Tulku Rinpoche fingered as he said those words were also made of bone. Beads made of human or animal bones serve as a reminder of how we're all going to end up.
People often ask why we would want to be reminded. It's bad enough that we have to die: Why remind ourselves of that fact all the time? The Pali word anusaya refers to the latent tendencies that we all have, one of which is our fear of death. It lives in our consciousness somewhere and weighs us down, actually having quite a bit of influence on us, as it shows up in smaller, more tangible fears. It darkens our lives. It is a chronic form of anxiety.
Anusaya is constantly fed by things we see and hear: when someone we know dies, or when we see a dead animal in the street, or when we hear that a friend has grown seriously ill or see a friend after some time and notice that he has aged. The way of Buddhist practice is to flush out these fears, to open the doors and windows and let in some fresh air, to stop talking about these matters in a whisper, repressing and denying them. It's exhausting to live that way: it requires a huge amount of energy to hold that kind of fear down. And it doesn't ultimately work.
Reminders
Spiritual Practice by Jack Kornfield
In the Babemba tribe of South Africa, when a person acts irresponsibly or unjustly, he is placed in the center of the village, alone and unfettered. All work ceases, and every man, woman and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused individual. Then each person in the tribe speaks to the accused, one at a time, each recalling the good things the person in the center of the circle has done in his lifetime. Every incident, every experience that can be recalled with any detail and accuracy, is recounted. All his positive attributes, good deeds, strengths, and kindnesses are recited carefully and at length. This tribal ceremony often lasts for several days. At the end, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the person is symbolically and literally welcomed back into the tribe. Even if you cannot stage this extensive a ritual, you can reinforce and encourage forgiveness by reminding the person who has committed a wrong of their positive qualities and contributions.
One Thing At a Time
Spiritual Practice by Christina Feldman
Experiment with dedicating a day to undertaking just one thing at a time with wholehearted attention.
Start in the morning from the moment that you awake. As you dress, shower and eat breakfast, explore what it means to attend fully to just one activity at a time. Sense your body moving in those activities -- all the sounds, sights, tastes, smells, and sensations help within that moment.
Each time your mind begins to lean into the next moment with plans, anticipation, rehearsal, or anxiety, just gently come back to where you are.
As you move into your day, walking to your car or bus stop, sense what it means just to walk with your attention fully present within your body.
Sense what it means to let go of hurrying. Be aware that hurrying is a state of mind born of being preoccupied with arrivals and results rather than attending to the present. Doing one thing at a time does not mean everything being performed at a snail's pace. We discover we can often do things quickly and fully without hurrying.
When you engage in conversations during your day, on the telephone or directly with another person, sense what it means to listen wholeheartedly and to be fully present with that person.
If you are writing, give your attention to feeling the touch of the pen in your hand, the movement of your hand as your write.
When you stop to eat, refrain from picking up a newspaper or book and be wholeheartedly present just with the activity of eating.
Approach each task in the day with the willingness to devote an undivided attention to it.
If you find that your pace of activity begins to accelerate and you feel hurried, take that moment just to pause and be still. Be aware of your body and breathing and allow the sense of being rushed to calm.
Throughout the day, commit yourself to just attending to one thing at a time with a sensitive attention.
As you return home in the evening, sustain the dedication to being fully present. As you prepare food, talk with a friend, read, listen to music, undertake each of these things with a genuine dedication to being awake and present within them.
Sense what happens for you as you begin to integrate body, mind, heart, and present moment. Be aware of the calmness that may begin to appear, the way in which less is taken for granted, and your growing capacity to approach each moment with sensitivity and appreciation.
Notice the moments when your attention is divided or scattered and explore in those moments the possibility of pausing, being still and again renewing your intention to be fully present and balanced.
Receive all of the moments of tension, contractedness, and inner busyness as messengers inviting you to return to a greater simplicity and attentiveness in the moment.
— Christina Feldman in Heart of Wisdom, Mind of Calm.
16.
Challenging Habits
Spiritual Practice by Christina Feldman
Reflect upon your life and all of the activities you frequently engage in, sensing where habit is most strongly present.
You might see habit being the governing force in some of the simple actions you undertake — how you wash your dishes, cook a meal, drive your car or walk to work.
You might see that it is within the repetitive activities that are part of all of our lives that we are most prone to becoming habitual and mechanical.
Take just one or two activities and commit yourself to undertaking them as it for the first time.
As you wash your dishes, sense all of the sensations and movements involved — the touch of the water on your skin, your hand touching a glass, the movement of your arm. Have the intention of bringing a genuine depth of sensitivity to that moment.
If there is a familiar path you walk many times in your life — up a flight of stairs, to your bus stop or into your workplace — experiment with walking that path with a fullness of sensitivity and a commitment to being present in each step.
Sense if there are people in your life who have in some way been dismissed from your heart because of an image or assumption you hold about them. They may be the people you find yourself avoiding, the person in your neighborhood store who is hardly seen through lack of interest, or someone who has in some way offended you. Make a commitment to meeting that person, seeing and listening to them with a fullness of sensitivity and attention, as if they were your dearest friend or as if this was both the first and last time you would ever have the opportunity to know that person. Sense what happens when you are willing to be probe beneath your images and conclusions.
Each day make a simple commitment to bring a fullness of sensitivity and interest to just one area of your life that you sense is governed by habit.
Sense how the commitment to awareness has the power to dissolve habit in a moment, allowing a new depth and sensitivity to emerge.
In the moments when your attention is entangled in charged thought patterns about past and future, sense what happens to your relationship to the present moment. Notice how the sights, sounds, smells and feelings that are equally part of your moment have faded from awareness, becoming only a backdrop to the agitation of the thoughts.
Sense whether it is possible to reconnect with all of those sights, sounds and feelings, bringing to them a conscious attention and sensitivity.
As you feel yourself more connected to and grounded in this moment, experiment with consciously inviting into your awareness the thoughts of past and future that previously felt overwhelming.
Be aware if it is possible to hold those thoughts in your attention without the emotional charge of anxiety, sadness, regret, or expectation.
Sense the difference between being an unconscious captive of thoughts of past and future and being consciously engaged, able to think and reflect clearly.
Notice how the thoughts of past and future, when released from anxiety, arise and pass like all other thoughts, sounds, sensations, and sights.
Sense your capacity to be fully present, not denying past or future but equally not being lost in them.
Be aware of the calmness and balance born of being fully present one moment at a time.
A Generous Heart
Spiritual Practice by Christina Feldman
Experiment with bringing into your day and life the intention to extend a generosity of spirit to others and to yourself. Sense if it is possible for you to bring loving kindness in the face of judgment, forgiveness in the face of condemnation, and attention in your moments when you are tempted to banish someone from your attention and heart.
Notice the moments in your day when you feel you don't "have enough" time, energy, or attention to truly listen or attend to someone who asks you to be present for them. Sense whether it is possible to step out of your feelings of haste and busyness and truly be present for the person before you. Sense the possibility of putting aside your own timetables and busyness to bring a wholehearted attention to those moments.
In the moments when your mind feels too full to truly listen to another person, explore the possibility of being able to step out of the swirl of your own thoughts to attend with care and sensitivity to the person asking for your attention and presence.
Sense what happens in you when someone asks you for help or a person on the street asks you for money. Generosity does not demand giving, but it does ask us to be aware of what happens within us when we are asked to give.
Notice the moments when you find yourself caught in judgment, greed, or impatience in your day. Sense what happens when instead of acting on those impulses you are able to pause and be more generous with your patience and acceptance.
Sense what happens in your own heart and mind in the moments when you find yourself able to be truly generous. Be aware of the happiness and joy that are intrinsic to authentic generosity.
Forgiveness
Spiritual Practice by Christina Feldman
Find a position for your body that is relaxed and free from tension.
Gently close your eyes.
Bring your attention into your body, consciously softening any places that feel tight or contracted.
Pay particular attention to your face and jaw, your neck, shoulders and hands, letting them relax fully.
Bring a gentle and calm attention to rest in your chest, in your heart area.
Invite into your attention someone who has hurt you, whether in small or deep ways.
Hold that person in your attention and sense the array of images and emotions that arise, without judging any of them. Let them rest in your heart and mind without grasping hold of any of them.
Sense the ways in which you have felt harmed or abandoned, intentionally or unintentionally, by that person.
Feel the pain you carry with you from this past and sense that it may be time to lay down this burden.
Holding the difficult person in your attention, gently begin to offer the intention of forgiveness with the phrases:
"I forgive you for the pain you have caused."
"I forgive the anger, confusion, and ignorance at the heart of your harmfulness."
"To you who have hurt me, I offer forgiveness."
As you rest your attention in the phrases and intentions of forgiveness, sense whether even the tiniest glimmers of release or opening may be possible.
Sense the new beginnings that may be possible for you as you release the weight of the past. You may find it difficult to stay connected with the image or memory of someone who has hurt you deeply. Do not be harsh with demands on yourself. If you begin to flounder in the memories of pain, just return your attention to your body and breathing. Let your body relax and soften, and when you are ready, come back to the phrases, again offering forgiveness.
When you are ready, open your eyes.
Receptive Listening
Spiritual Practice by Christina Feldman
Bring with you into your day the commitment to listen wholeheartedly in all the moments when someone is asking for your attention and presence.
In contact with a friend, listen with awareness and spaciousness.
Listen with your heart, sensing the reaching out to forge a connection with you and be fully present.
Listen with patience, noticing the moments when with impatience or boredom you start to disconnect. See if you can bring your attention back to be fully present.
Listen with openness, instead of preparing your responses or waiting for a lull in their speech so you can say something you deem to be more interesting or important.
Notice if there are moments when you start to judge whatever they are recounting to you. Sense whether it is possible to let go of those judgments and renew your commitment to being fully present with the person in front of you.
Bring awareness into those moments in your day when you are listening to someone who is distressed or angry.
Sense what happens in your own body, mind and heart as you listen to distress or anger.
Notice how you may be prone to stop listening as you prepare your defenses or retorts. Sense if you feel hurt or helpless as you absorb the words of another.
When faced with someone who is enraged, it may be helpful to explore what it means to stay connected with that person without being lost in the barrage of their words. Are you able to sustain eye contact with them, sense the pain or frustration that underlies their anger, and listen without feeling attacked? Are you able to leave their anger with them rather than feeling you need to defend yourself or respond in kind? Listening to someone who is deeply distressed or in pain can be deeply challenging.
As you listen to someone recounting to you their heartache, notice if as a reaction to feeling helpless, you begin to search for formulas or prescriptions to "fix" their pain. This may not be what is being asked of you. What is being asked for is a compassionate presence.
Faced with someone in distress, explore what it may mean simply to bring a compassionate, open stillness that can receive that sorrow.
Experiment with listening to yourself as you speak, sensing whether your speech is a genuine expression of care and sensitivity. Are you saying what you wish to say, communicating what you most need to communicate? Are you able to listen to your own heart and mind before the words are spoken?
Inner Peace
Spiritual Practice by Christina Feldman
Settle into a posture that is as relaxed and alert as possible.
Allow your eyes to gently close.
Take a few moments to be aware of your body, releasing any areas of tension. Let your shoulders, face, and hands relax and soften.
For a few moments focus your attention on your breathing. Be particularly aware of your outgoing breath, following it with your attention until the very end of the breath.
Rest your attention in the brief moment between the ending of an out-breath and the beginning of the next in-breath.
Take a few moments to reflect on where you most repetitively battle with yourself.
Sense the places you are most judgmental of yourself, the places where you extend to yourself the greatest unkindness or blame, the places that trigger feelings of shame or self-consciousness.
You may be aware of carrying events or acts from the past in your heart and mind that are laden with guilt or regret.
You may be aware of recurring patterns in your present, in speech, thought, or action, that cause pain or alienation and that you wish to be free from.
As you reflect on these patterns or events, sense what happens in your body and mind.
Sense how simply bringing these places of pain into your attention may trigger feelings of contraction, tension, or resistance in your body. You may be aware of the rhythm of your breathing changing, becoming shorter or tighter. If this happens, bring your attention to the part of your body that is registering distress or discomfort and let it soften and relax.
Sense the aversion you have for these places in your own heart and mind. Sense your wish to be free from them. Be aware of how the aversion and resistance themselves are the energy of struggle and inner estrangement.
Reflect on what you may need to cultivate or nurture to make peace with yourself.
Reflect on what difference it would make to those places of rejection and alienation to cultivate a greater kindness, acceptance, or compassion.
Can you offer to yourself the forgiveness and generosity of heart to embrace the places of greatest difficulty and unease in your own heart and mind?
Are you able to stay present with those places in yourself that you are most tempted to flee from?
Reflect on what it might mean to befriend yourself, to offer to yourself the openness and understanding you would both wish to offer to others and to receive from others.
Sense that your capacity to make peace with yourself may not depend upon denying anything.
Your capacity to be at peace with yourself begins with your willingness to let go of prejudice and judgment.
With a wholehearted and gentle attentiveness, explore those places in your heart and mind that are the source of the greatest struggle and pain.
Sense how it may be possible to bring calmness, gentleness, and care to those places without any expectation.
When you are ready, open your eyes and come out of the posture.
— Christina Feldman in Heart of Wisdom, Mind of Calm.
24.
Altruistic Joy
Spiritual Practice by Christina Feldman
Let your body settle into a posture of ease and balance.
Gently close your eyes and settle your attention in your body and in the present moment.
Invite into your attention a friend who is happy or joyous. They may be delighting in the birth of a child, in recovered health after a spate of illness or in a life event that has brought a newfound happiness.
Sense their gladness, gratefulness, or delight as you have seen it in them.
Offer them a generous wish that their happiness may deepen and continue.
Find a few simple words or phrases that express the generosity of heart you feel for them:
"May your happiness deepen."
"May your life continue to bring gladness and delight."
Next invite into your attention someone whom you envy or feel some resentment towards because of the happiness they are experiencing. It may be a friend, a colleague or even someone you do not know but whom you admire and yet at the same time envy.
Offer to that person a generosity of heart that rejoices in their gladness, accomplishments, or successes:
"May your happiness deepen."
"May your gladness continue."
Sense whether it is possible to offer that same generosity of altruistic joy to yourself. Take some moments to reflect on the many blessings and moments of happiness and ease that are present in your life in this moment. Reflect on your capacity for love, care and empathy, on the people in your life who care for you, on the moments of gladness and delight you encounter. Say to yourself:
"May I deepen in happiness and generosity."
"May I live with appreciation and gladness."
When you are ready, open your eyes and come out of the posture.
A Metaphor for Openness
Spiritual Practice by David Kundtz
When we take time to remember who we are and what is important to us, we can be more open to life. If we are not open, we miss so much! Being open means the realities of life have a way to get into you, the gates are open, and you won't miss what you don't want to miss.
One of the ways to open all your pores is to find an image that signifies opening to you. An image is instantaneous, takes little effort, and has a powerful effect on us. (A picture is worth a thousand words.)
Here are a few examples of images of openness that might get you started in finding your own:
A dish antenna: open to all the signals of the universe.
A sapling: stretching to reach the sun and rain.
A whale: maw agape and swimming through the krill.
A magnet: attracting your opposites.
A child: knowing that everything is possible.
When we race through life never stopping, openness is difficult because too much goes right through us, without making any difference in our lives.
In the words quoted above, Thoreau uses the analogy of bathing. Perhaps that could be an image for you: When you are immersed in a tub or standing under a steady shower of water, no part of you is missed. You are open.
Pick a metaphor for openness (perhaps from the list above). Three times today stop and recall your image.
Listening with Sensitivity
Spiritual Practice by Christina Feldman
Take a few moments to settle into a posture of alertness and calmness.
Gently close your eyes and fully relax and soften your body.
Bring your attention to any area of your body that feels tight or contracted. Let your shoulders, hands, and face soften and relax.
Bring your attention just to listening. Try not to look for sound; simply be attentive to the sounds that are present in the moment.
Settle your attention into a receptive listening.
Notice the sounds that are near and those that are more distant.
Sense, if you can, the beginnings and the endings of the sounds.
In sounds that are constant, sense the differing tones and intensities within the apparent constancy.
Notice what happens in your mind or emotions in relationship to the sounds you are receiving.
Be attentive to how quickly the mind brings judgments or labels to the sounds.
Simply sense the moments when your attention has shifted from just listening into the judgments, descriptions, or associations that have arisen in your mind.
See if it is possible for you to let go of the world of interpretation and come back to just listening.
Notice the moments when you find yourself leaning towards the sounds you enjoy or contracting in the face of sounds you find disturbing.
Explore whether it is possible for you to sustain your attention in just listening, embracing the pleasant and unpleasant equally, bringing an equal sensitivity and receptivity to both.
When thoughts arise, allow them to pass, letting them just be whispers in the background of your attention.
Stay as fully present as possible with just listening.
Sense the arising and passing of sound, the beginnings and endings of the sounds that come to you.
Notice the moments of stillness and silence that may be present in the interlude between the ending of one sound and the beginning of another.
Sense the moments when you find yourself listening to silence.
In the time of silence, don't leap to find another sound to attend to, but rest within the silence.
As your attention deepens, so does your capacity to listen. You may begin to find yourself aware of subtler levels of sound coming from the world around you and the world within you.
You may begin to hear the sound of your heartbeat or your pulse.
Attend wholeheartedly to whatever sounds appear, relaxing in the silence that emerges in the absence of sound.
Sense the spaciousness and calmness that begin to emerge with your deepening capacity to just listen with sensitivity and simplicity.
Simply be present in the presence of sound, in the presence of silence.
— Christina Feldman in Heart of Wisdom, Mind of Calm.
28.
Recite and Resonate
Spiritual Practice by Christopher Titmuss
Nearly all the major religions endorse the use of beads for prayer and meditation.... We can use beads to recite a mantra in our native language. For example we might say PEACE AND CLARITY, or BE HERE AND NOW, or ARISING AND PASSING. It is important to say mantras slowly and mindfully. Recite one mantra or prayer for each bead so that the essential truth of the mantra or prayer begins to resonate deep in our being.
A Prayer of Friendship
Spiritual Practice by Christopher Titmuss
Making Intentions
Spiritual Practice by Christopher Titmuss
Unhealthy Speech
Spiritual Practice by Christopher Titmuss
Practice renouncing a particular pattern of speech, such as the need to complain, express anger, repeat gossip, or indulge in memories. Start each day with a commitment to let go of of the impulse to use unwise speech. Try to make your speech unhurried, calm, and thoughtful, even in the face of provocation, so that in the renunciation of unhealthy speech, wholesome speech comes naturally.
Everyday Renunciation Practice
Spiritual Practice by Sylvia Boorstein
I invite you to think about choosing something you could give up, for some significant period of time, that you like enough so that you'd notice its absence but not so much that you or your family would be in discomfort. Then see what you learn. Remember it's not about becoming stoic. It's about becoming intimate with the nature of desire itself. Desire pulls so hard, it's surprising to find that it's empty.
Everyday Morality Practice
Spiritual Practice by Sylvia Boorstein
I intend to:
Prayer of the Heart
Spiritual Practice by Christopher Titmuss
Use this "Prayer of the Heart" as a meditation to overcome negative thoughts toward others and to instill in yourself feelings of loving-kindness for family, friends, neighbors, strangers, and enemies, both at home and abroad. By doing so you can help loosen the bonds that hold unjust authority in place.
To the Unfriendly
Spiritual Practice by Christopher Titmuss
As you speak the lines, remember to bring in the feeling of the heart to go with the words. It can be worthwhile memorizing the lines or similar lines to enable a loving presence to be steady in the heart whenever we are in contact with others.
To the Unfriendly
- May your bitterness and resentment subside quickly.
- May you understand the pain you cause yourself and others.
- May you explore fresh ways to explore differences.
- May you see into the fear behind the anger.
- May you develop equanimity when things do not go your way.
- May others stop being angry toward you.
- May you realize that anger does not cease with anger.
- May others listen to you and you listen to others.
Recite Mantras for Loving-Kindness
Spiritual Practice by Habib Todd Boerger, Joseph Goldstein
In loving-kindness meditation, you start by sending loving wishes to yourself, then to loved ones, friends, supporters, etc., until you send loving wishes to your enemies and all beings. In Mindful Politics: A Buddhist Guide to Making the World a Better Place, Buddhist teacher Joseph Goldstein cites these mantras as examples for loving-kindness meditation: “May you be happy; may you be free of mental and physical suffering; may you live with ease.”
Goldstein reflects on the difficulty of wishing happiness for those who have harmed us. Rather than focusing on those whom we might want to exclude from wishes of happiness, he encourages us to consider what our wish is for the world. Then our wish for the world can include those upon whom we might have initially wished suffering. Goldstein offers his mantra for this sort of loving-kindness meditation: “May you be free of hatred; may you be free of enmity.”
Take some time to reflect. From the place of deep heartfulness and inner wisdom, ask yourself what is your wish for our country? For our world? What phrase can you use as a loving-kindness mantra to orient yourself toward this wish? Once you’ve created your own mantra, write it down. Put it in your wallet, on your refrigerator, on your computer, or wherever you’ll see it to remind yourself of what you’d like for our country and our world.
Spiritual Practice of the Day
Generosity has such power because it is characterized by the inner quality of letting go or relinquishing. Being able to let go, to give up, to renounce, to give generously--these capacities spring from the same source within us. When we practice generosity, we open to all of these liberating qualities simultaneously. They carry us to a profound knowing of freedom, and they also are the loving expression of that same state of freedom.
40.
Spacious Acceptance
Spiritual Practice by Sylvia Boorstein
"My son Peter's mother-in-law not only tolerates unpleasantness with grace, she often can appreciate it. She is the only person I have ever driven with on Los Angeles freeways, with cars whizzing in and out of lanes arbitrarily, in snarly, congested, smoggy traffic tie-ups, who says, with genuine awe, 'Wow! Look at all these people going places!'
"It's a big step, of course, from freeways to famines to wars, but it's wonderful to have confirmation that spacious acceptance is humanly possible. Spiritual practice might be discovering that potential in ourselves and enlarging it."
To Practice: Set the intention to practice spacious acceptance and grace. Start with accepting others' driving behavior. First notice your reaction, then cultivate awareness of all the drivers' need to get somewhere and a desire for all drivers to arrive at their destinations safely. Once you've habituated reacting to other drivers with grace, spend a few minutes brainstorming a list of other situations in which you could practice spacious acceptance. Choose one from your brainstorming list and keep going. Let your newfound acceptance lead you to embrace more and more people and situations with enthusiasm.
41.
Communicating with Awareness
Spiritual Practice by Tara Brach
The way we speak with and listen to others can communicate love or hate, acceptance or rejection. The Buddha described wise speech, the speech that expresses reverence for life, as speaking only what is true and what is helpful. Yet caught as we are in reacting to each other out of wanting and fear, how do we recognize what is true? How do we discern what is helpful? How do we speak and listen from our hearts?
The following meditative practices are guidelines for being mindful and openhearted in communicating with each other. They have been drawn from different sources and are used in varying combinations by kalyanna mitta and similar groups around the United States. You can practice them yourself whenever you are engaged in conversation, or you can use them as formal guidelines for interpersonal meditation where two or more people are gathered for the purpose of mindful dialogue....
Training ourselves to be present with each other is a way to integrate mindfulness and lovingkindness into our daily life. In the moments when we communicate with honesty and kindness, we begin to dissolve the trance of separation. Instead of being driven by wanting or fear, we feel increasingly spontaneous and real. As much as any meditation, these practices allow us to discover, through relating wakefully with each other, the sweetness of our connectedness and belonging.
Set your intention. As a basic spiritual practice establish your intention to be present, honest and kind in relating to others in any circumstance. Remind yourself of your resolution at the start if each day, at the beginning of an interpersonal meditation or before any interaction with others.
Let your body be an anchor. Choose two or three touch points, places in your body where you can reawaken a sense of presence. These might be the sensations of breathing, the sensations in your shoulders, hands, stomach or feet. Return to them as often as possible when you are communicating with others. The more you practice staying aware of these touch points during your sitting practice and throughout the day, the more readily you’ll sustain an embodied presence when you are with others.
Listen from the heart. While others are speaking, try to let go of your own thoughts and pay attention to what they are saying. This means letting go of your agenda for the conversation. Stay aware of the feelings and sensations that occur throughout your body and especially in the heart area. Be particularly aware of your mind wandering off into judgments. If you find yourself criticizing, analyzing or interpreting, meet these thoughts with mindfulness, let them go and return to receptive listening. This doesn’t mean you are agreeing with whatever is being said, but rather you are honoring the other by offering your full presence and attention. Let your listening be wholehearted and deep, paying attention to the person’s tone, pitch, volume and words. In addition to content, allow yourself to receive the mood and spirit of what another is expressing.
Speak from the heart. Try not to prepare and rehearse what you will say in advance, especially while another is speaking. Rather, in the present moment speak what feels true and meaningful. This might be a response to what you have just heard. Or as happens in meditative dialogue, it may not be necessary to respond. Rather, what you say arises from your immediate stream of experience. Speaking from the heart begins with inward listening. Speak slowly enough to stay mindfully connected with your body and heart.
42.
Guerilla Compassion
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
Practice guerrilla compassion — silently blessing people on line at the bank, at the supermarket, in the cars next to us in traffic. Each blessing a tiny Sabbath, a secret sanctuary offered to a hurried and unsuspecting world.
Getting to Know Your Prejudices
Spiritual Practice by Rodney Smith
Reflect on your areas of prejudice. Where does prejudice still hide in your heart? Do you pretend to be tolerant even as you harbor intolerance? How does your prejudice manifest? Prejudice is hard to own if it does not fit your self-image. What part of your self-image feels betrayed by having this prejudice?
This exercise is difficult. The question to consider when approaching it is, do you want to die with your prejudices or begin to understand them while you live? Merely thinking about them is not sufficient. You need to connect with them while they are active. If you can be aware of both your prejudice and the fear that drives it, you will make significant inroads toward understanding how and why it operates. Sit down and have a heartfelt conversation with someone about whom you harbor a prejudice. Watch how your mind wants to fix and hold that person in a predetermined way. Can listening occur in the middle of this projection, or are you constantly asserting your old ideas about who he is? Can you connect with the person's humanity? Can you access his pain? Are you able to own the anger that you project onto him? Accept the prejudice as coming from you and not as being true in itself. Owning your prejudice is the first step toward healing.
Listening to Your Fear
Spiritual Practice by Rodney Smith
Reflect on a time when you were visiting someone who was very sick or dying and felt powerless to change the situation. Did you try to comfort the patient with false hope, or did you steer the conversation away from anything meaningful? Do you find yourself avoiding such situations, not knowing what to say? What is causing this reaction? What fears arise when you see someone dying?
Another difficult exercise. Intentionally seek out an opportunity to be with someone whose illness or infirmity causes you to feel uneasy. Can you be with both your reactions to the disease and the person at the same moment? Attempt to connect with the person and let the infirmity be just as it is. Work toward allowing the person and your reactions to be just as they are, without trying to change either one. See if you can listen through your reactivity without acting upon it. Try to bring the same quality of listening to your fear as you do to the person speaking.
In Their Shoes
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
'Walk a mile in another person's shoes before you pass judgment.' As this old saying suggests, even if we're going to take strong action to try to change someone's behavior, a sense of empathy and understanding for them won't weaken us. If anything, that element of kindness will allow us to act more compassionately and creatively.
Look for the Good
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
Look for the good in yourself — not as a way to deny your difficulties or problems but as a way to broaden your outlook so it's more truthful and balanced. Looking for the good in ourselves helps us see the good in others.
Talk To, Not About
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
Refrain from speaking ill of others. A friend told me about a time he resolved not to talk about any third person; if he had something to say about someone, he would say it directly to that person instead. If you feel tempted to put someone down, assume knowledge of their bad motives, or generally prove their inferiority, take a breath. Even though we might feel a rush of power in saying those words, we ultimately get no benefit from dividing people and sowing seeds of dissension and dislike. There are ways to talk about wrong behavior without derision or condemnation.
Recollect Others' Good-Heartedness
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
Recollect those who have helped or inspired us. Sometimes even a small act of kindness on someone's part makes an essential difference for us. Cultivating gratitude is a way of honoring these people, and also a way of lifting our spirits and reminding us of the power of good-heartedness.
Opening to Mystery
Spiritual Practice by Jack Kornfield
You can step into mystery wherever you are, with an open, curious wonder. Here you are, on this astonishing planet, in this spiral galaxy, with language and love and an invitation to see.
• Lie outside on the grass on a warm starlit night. Imagine that you are at the bottom of the turning world (there really is no top or bottom), held on by the magnet of gravity. Look up into the infinite sea of stars.
• Hold your breath for a minute or more. Feel how your body finally insists on breathing. It is ever breathing, living with the air that dusts mountaintops and passes across oceans, through the lungs of deer, the leaves of oaks and maples, automobile engines, and the South Pole. Feel how you are part of the earth breathing.
• Ask yourself: How did you get here in this human life? What is mind? What is love? What will happen next month? When will you die? What is death? Where do stars come from? What will the human world look like in twenty-five years?
Pause after each question and let the feeling of 'don't know' open you to mystery. Relax and enjoy the mystery, rest in the vast mystery that holds and supports you and all life. You are the mystery seeing itself.
• Contemplate the mystery of your body. The trillion patterns of synaptic connections in your brain, the 100 trillion bacteria in your gut. Your liver is processing a million complex reactions right now, your body is awash in fluids and tubes of blood and lymph and bile and urine and spinal fluid, all flowing like the infrastructure of Manhattan. And all collaborating in a mysterious dance to protect your life.
• Look into the eyes of a young child. See the child of the spirit, the mystery born into this new form. Where did they come from? What will they become?
• Get a teaspoon of soil. It has a billion bacteria, millions of fungi, hundreds of thousands of microarthropods, thousands of protozoa and nematodes. More life in one spoonful than on all of the other planets combined.
• Go to a cemetery. Contemplate death.
• Go to a dating website. Contemplate desire and love.
A Metaphor for Openness
Spiritual Practice Feature by David Kundtz
There are many ways to become more open to life experiences. Ask questions. Savor your senses. Don't judge others. Take your time. In the following practice from Moments In Between: The Art of the Quiet Mind, psychotherapist David Kundtz suggests another: Find an image that helps you open up. He starts with a quote from Thoreau which could be a meditation on openness by itself.
"When we take time to remember who we are and what is important to us, we can be more open to life. If we are not open, we miss so much! Being open means the realities of life have a way to get into you, the gates are open, and you won't miss what you don't want to miss.
"One of the ways to open all your pores is to find an image that signifies opening to you. An image is instantaneous, takes little effort, and has a powerful effect on us. (A picture is worth a thousand words.)
"Here are a few examples of images of openness that might get you started in finding your own:
"A dish antenna: open to all the signals of the universe.
"A sapling: stretching to reach the sun and rain.
"A whale: maw agape and swimming through the krill.
"A magnet: attracting your opposites.
"A child: knowing that everything is possible.
"When we race through life never stopping, openness is difficult because too much goes right through us, without making any difference in our lives.
"In the words quoted above, Thoreau uses the analogy of bathing. Perhaps that could be an image for you: When you are immersed in a tub or standing under a steady shower of water, no part of you is missed. You are open.
"Pick a metaphor for openness (perhaps from the list above). Three times today stop and recall your image."
52.
Dwelling in Grateful Joy
Spiritual Practice Feature by Jack Kornfield, Patricia Campbell Carlson
Once you read the following meditation practice from The Wise Heart, it will come as no surprise to you that American Theravada Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield is close friends with Br. David Steindl-Rast, the Austrian Benedictine monk who wrote Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer. Buddhist practices of sympathetic joy and caring spring naturally from gratefulness; and, conversely, gratefulness opens the door to sympathetic joy. What we love about Jack's meditation is its sense of ease, flowing from an instantaneous awareness that all of life is given to us and so can be recognized as a gift.
A Meditation on Gratitude and Joy
"Let yourself sit quietly and at ease. Allow your body to be relaxed and open, your breath natural, your heart easy. Begin the practice of gratitude by feeling how year after year you have cared for your own life. Now let yourself begin to acknowledge all that has supported you in this care:
"Just as we are grateful for our blessings, so we can be grateful for the blessings of others..
"Now shift your practice to the cultivation of joy. Continue to breathe gently. Bring to mind someone you care about, someone it is easy to rejoice for. Picture them and feel the natural joy you have for their well-being, happiness, and success. With each breath, offer them your grateful, heartfelt wishes:
"Sense the sympathetic joy and caring in each phrase. When you feel some degree of natural gratitude for the joy and well-being of this loved one, extend this practice to another person you care about. Recite the same simple phrases that express your heart's intention.
"Then gradually open the meditation to other loved ones and benefactors. After the joy for them grows strong, turn back to include yourself. Let the feelings of joy more fully fill your body and mind. Continue repeating the intentions of joy over and over, through whatever resistances and difficulties arise, until you feel stabilized in joy. Next begin to systematically include the categories of neutral people, then difficult people and even enemies until you extend sympathetic joy to all beings everywhere, young and old, near and far.
"Practice dwelling in joy until the deliberate effort of practice drops away and the intentions of joy blend into the natural joy of your own wise heart.".
53.
Spiritual Practice of the Day
On a more subtle level, we need to recognize that we express a lack of reverence toward others when we communicate using harsh words, or by displaying offensive gestures and facial expressions. Whenever we make judgments about people — labeling them selfish, ignorant, arrogant, and so forth — we relate to those people as if they were fixed objects and 'kill off' our connection to their individuality and inherently divine nature.
Conjure Up a Smile
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
No matter what your mood or the circumstances of the moment, it is almost always possible to conjure up a smile. This is not meant to be a form of denial but rather a way to make the world a more joyful place, and a reminder to ourselves that there is more to life than our current difficulties. You can brighten the day for others, and that has to be good for you as well. Imagine, every time you cross paths with someone you can both get a little lift from your smile. I have been consciously doing this practice for a number of years, and during that time — life being what it is — I have had my share of serious issues with which to deal, the death of my only brother being but one of them. Yet every smile as I greet someone, or simply cross someone's path, has lightened whatever distress or care has been within me. The smile that is usually returned has often lifted me right out of my concerns. Issues don't evaporate as if by magic, but our perspective can change and life will become brighter. No economic crisis can devalue a smile, and it might be just the stimulus package a friend needs.
55.
Conjure Up a Smile
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
No matter what your mood or the circumstances of the moment, it is almost always possible to conjure up a smile. This is not meant to be a form of denial but rather a way to make the world a more joyful place, and a reminder to ourselves that there is more to life than our current difficulties. You can brighten the day for others, and that has to be good for you as well. Imagine, every time you cross paths with someone you can both get a little lift from your smile. I have been consciously doing this practice for a number of years, and during that time — life being what it is — I have had my share of serious issues with which to deal, the death of my only brother being but one of them. Yet every smile as I greet someone, or simply cross someone's path, has lightened whatever distress or care has been within me. The smile that is usually returned has often lifted me right out of my concerns. Issues don't evaporate as if by magic, but our perspective can change and life will become brighter. No economic crisis can devalue a smile, and it might be just the stimulus package a friend needs.
Appreciating Ourselves
Spiritual Practice by Tara Brach
Sometimes the easiest way to appreciate ourselves is by looking through the eyes of someone who loves us. A friend told me that when he sees himself through the eyes of his spiritual teacher, he remembers how deeply devoted he is to seeking the truth. One of my clients realizes he is lovable when he remembers how his grandfather used to delight in his boyish curiosity and inventiveness. Sometimes seeing ourselves through the eyes of a close friend can help us to remember our good qualities. Our friend might love our humor and warmth, our passion about saving the environment, our honest willingness to say what's really going on in our lives. We don't have to limit our appreciators to the human world. I once saw a bumper sticker that said: "Lord, help me to see myself the way my dog sees me." We might ask ourselves what makes our dog happy to see us. Even if the answer is that he just wants to get fed or walked, our animal's appreciation of our constancy reflects an aspect of us that is worthy. The practice of looking through the eyes of one who loves us can be a powerful and surprisingly direct way to remember our beauty and goodness.
Through the simple practice of seeing our own goodness, we undo the deeply rooted habits of blame and self-hate that keep us feeling isolated and unworthy.
57.
Do Your Day Like a Buddha
Spiritual Practice by Sylvia Boorstein
So here's an everyday practice: do your day, whatever you're doing, like a Buddha. The people you meet will probably appreciate you. You'll feel good. And you don't need to tell anyone what you're doing.
Transform Your Mind
Spiritual Practice by Christopher Titmuss
Anger generates heat from within burning us up. But it also becomes a pattern. We imagine that we can control others through getting angry with them, but what we generate is resentment. Anger is not only ugly and potentially destructive, but also a very poor strategy for dealing with problems. Advice only works when the person shows real motivation to change. Otherwise the words go in one ear and out the other. Realising that the self is not really different from the self of another helps dissolve explosive anger and lingering hostility. . . .
Anger does not control others. It makes them resentful. It takes motivation, co-operation and mutual understanding to transform the mind.
Wise Speech
Spiritual Practice by Jack Kornfield
Try this in your next argument or conflict: Take a pause. Hold everyone's struggle in compassion. Connect with your highest intention. Whenever things get difficult, pause before you speak and sense your wise motivation. From there, it will all flow better. This is the secret of wise speech. As the Buddha describes it: "Speak with kindly motivation. Speak what is true and helpful, speak in due season and to the benefit of all." When we connect with our highest intention, we learn to see with the eyes of compassion and everything becomes more workable.
Number Your Thoughts
Spiritual Practice by Jack Kornfield
Try an experiment. At the end of this paragraph, put this book down, close your eyes, and try to count your thoughts for one or two minutes. Sit quietly and wait for them, like a cat at a mouse hole. Number each one. See what happens.
Praising Others
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
Each day for two weeks, sincerely praise others' words or deeds.
The key to this practice is sincerity. Since it may be difficult to admire the actions of some, start with people you like and work your way up to those you find difficult. Eventually, you will be able to find something worth praising in the actions of just about everyone. It is a way to be in the world that benefits you and those around you.
Letting People Off the Hook
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
Consider letting someone off the hook for a deed they committed or harsh words they spoke.
Look deeply within for any bitterness or residual anger that you may still harbor toward that person. Even when someone is long out of our lives or even deceased, we may be holding resentment toward them. Who is being hurt by those feelings? Resolve that it's time to let that negativity go. If you've been holding resentment for a long time, it may take a while to release it, but stay the course with gentle firmness. Ultimately, you will be able to take a deep breath and enjoy your new freedom. Remember, we cannot have a better past, but we can usually have a better present.
Beginner's Mind
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
On a regular basis, choose a particular situation and practice Beginner's Mind.
The essential characteristic of Beginner's Mind is openness — the willingness to explore all possibilities. The brain does not have a delete button, and it is naive, not to mention unrealistic, to try to disregard all we have learned. Beginner's Mind sees past what it knows and openly embraces all possibilities. The expert sees no advantage to such an approach; he has it all figured out. For him there is nothing more to learn about the subject. Those with Beginner's Mind are curious, free of preconceptions, and able to enjoy the wonder and exploration of life. Release what you know and, like a wide-eyed child, take it all in anew. This allows room for insight and growth, and a wiser use of knowledge.
Inner Peace
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
Find a place where you can feel completely at ease and say to yourself, Only I can destroy my peace, and I choose not to do so.
When performing this practice, locate a place where you will be able to sink deeply into the sensations of peace and calm. A park, a body of water, a garden, and the mountains are excellent choices. Being completely relaxed on a sofa can work well also. Do this practice daily for five minutes for one week, repeating the phrase until you own it. Over time it will become easier to quickly recognize when inner peace is abandoning you, and then you can do the practice again for a few days. When disruption arises around you, you'll have it handy: Only I can destroy my peace, and I choose not to do so.
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I Couldn't Be Better
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
Meditation teacher and author Sylvia Boorstein says that when someone asks how she is feeling, she replies that she couldn't be better. She says that it is always true because in that moment, if she could be better, she would be. Let's apply the same straightforward logic to actions. In other words, in each given moment, we are all acting as best we can, because if we could act better, we would.
Intentional Emailing
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
Before clicking the send button on the e-mails you write, stop, close your eyes, and breathe for a few seconds.
It is an excellent practice to reread each e-mail before sending it and make sure it contains nothing you might later regret having said. Let thoughts like What is my intention? and Am I being considerate? go through your mind. If the e-mail can be changed to better reflect the person you want to be, make the changes. The whole process doesn't have to take a long time. Besides, it is unlikely that you would have something more important to do. Even your e-mails should reflect your true self.
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Mental Strength
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
Remind yourself often that you are mentally strong — you can do it.
Determination is a mental quality, so just as we can train the body, we can train the mind. When life is challenging, tell yourself often that you are equal to the challenge — you can do it. Remind yourself that hanging in just a bit longer can make all the difference. Repeat one or more of these phrases often throughout the day: "I don't quit!" "I am strong!" "Yes, I can!" To paraphrase Gandhi: be the change you want to see in the world.
Don't Hold Grudges
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
Don't hold grudges — find a way to forgive.
Look to the great teachers for inspiration. Jesus of Nazareth suffered excruciating pain and chose to forgive his tormenters. The Dalai Lama and the Zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh see all people as their friends, even those who have treated them poorly. Follow their example. Find a way to let the other person off the hook, even if you think they don't deserve it. Do it for you. If you are determined to keep an open heart and be a loving presence in the world, you will be able to do it. You may even find that it gets easier with practice.
Lovingkindness
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
Metta is a loving, compassionate, and altruistic view of all beings, free from attachment, judgment, expectation, and self-interest. The development and ongoing practice of lovingkindness is seen as a deterrent to anger and negativity. In turn, it makes us more at peace with ourselves and a joyful presence to those around us. Lovingkindness calms the mind, eases the body, and opens the heart. The teachings on lovingkindess refer to a caring for others that is free from all conditions — a caring that is likened to the love of a mother for her only child.
long. To the extent that I am ready, I offer them forgiveness. To those who have caused me harm, I offer my forgiveness, I forgive you."
Let yourself gently repeat these three directions for forgiveness until you feel a release in your heart. For some great pains you may not feel a release but only the burden and the anguish or anger you have held. Touch this softly. Be forgiving of yourself for not being ready to let go and move on. Forgiveness cannot be forced; it cannot be artificial. Simply continue the practice and let the words and /uploads/spiritual_practices/images work gradually in their own way. In time you can make the forgiveness meditation a regular part of your life, letting go of the past and opening your heart to each new moment with a wise loving-kindness.
MAY ALL BEINGS BE CHERISHED
Meditation on Positive Emotions
Spiritual Practice by Sharon Salzberg
In order to have the resiliency to face difficulties — for example, a friend who can’t be helped or a day full of sudden changes outside of our control — we need to find and nurture the positive parts of ourselves, and make a point of paying attention to experiences that give us pleasure.
Too often we focus on what’s wrong with us, or on negative, unpleasant experiences. We need to make a conscious effort to include the positive. This doesn’t have to be a phony effort, or one that denies real problems. We just want to pay attention to aspects of our day that we might overlook or ignore. If we stop to notice moments of pleasure — a flower poking up through the sidewalk, a puppy experiencing snow for the first time, a child’s hug — we have a resource for more joy. This capacity to notice the positive might be somewhat untrained, but that’s okay. We practice meditation for just this kind of training.
Sit or lie down on the floor in a relaxed, comfortable posture. Your eyes can be open or closed.
Now bring to mind a pleasurable experience you had recently, one that carries a positive emotion such as happiness, joy, comfort, contentment, or gratitude. Maybe it was a wonderful meal or a reviving cup of coffee, or time spent with your kids. Perhaps there’s something in your life you feel especially grateful for — a friend who is always there for you, a pet excited to see you, a gorgeous sunset, a moment of quiet.
Steps to Ending Our Prejudices
Spiritual Practice by Christopher Titmuss
Overcoming prejudice is not something that happens overnight. We first need to build up an awareness of what our own personal prejudices are before we can tackle them. Some of them will be obvious to us, others will need greater awareness. Use the following steps to help combat prejudice.
1. Make a genuine resolution to stop putting others down. Be aware, for instance, of a tendency to make disparaging or sarcastic remarks.
2. Acknowledge that making an enemy is a state of mind. Negative thinking will often lead to negative actions.
3. Transform the arrogance of superiority to awareness of interconnection. In the end, we are all subject to the human condition and need to help each other.
4. Become attuned to typical conditioned reactions and look for guidance and understanding from others to change your mind-set.
5. Listen to the kind inner voice rather than the hardened one. The positive voice may be submerged, but by being patient you will eventually hear it.
The Sacred Pause
Spiritual Practice by Tara Brach
The sacred pause helps us to reconnect with the present moment. Especially when we are caught up in striving and obsessing and leaning into the future, pausing enables us to reenter the mystery and vitality only found here and now.
Choose a time when you are involved in a goal-oriented activity — reading, working on the computer, cleaning, eating — and explore pausing for a moment or two. Begin by discontinuing what you are doing, sitting comfortably and allowing your eyes to close. Take a few deep breaths and with each exhale let go of any worries or thoughts about what you are going to do next; let go of any tightness in the body.
Now, notice what you are experiencing as you inhabit the pause. What sensations are you aware of in your body? Do you feel anxious or restless as you try to step out of your mental stories? Do you feel pulled to resume your activity? Can you simply allow, for this moment, whatever is happening inside you?
You can weave the sacred pause into your daily life by pausing for a few moments each hour or as you begin and end activities. You can pause while sitting, standing or lying down. Even in motion — going for a walk or driving — you can pause internally, eyes open and senses awake. Whenever you find you are stuck or disconnected, you can begin your life fresh in that moment by pausing, relaxing and paying attention to your immediate experience.
A Daily Practice of Appreciation
Spiritual Practice by Christina Feldman
Sense the places in your life where your heart begins to contract with envy, resentment, or judgment. Perhaps you support a sports team who loses against a rival team. Can you celebrate their delight in their win, appreciate their skills and their happiness? Perhaps you hear someone speak of an exhilarating inner experience they've had. Can you celebrate their delight rather than being lost in envy? A friend succeeds in winning a job you coveted. Can you celebrate their happiness with them rather than a contracting in envy?
Take some moments to reflect upon the blessings in your own life — having a healthy body, or even the inner balance to embrace ill health without fear, having enough to eat, shelter, life itself. Reflect on those people who care for and love you, those who are attentive to your needs and who support you. Reflect on being able to live a life not overshadowed by deprivation, terror, or violence.
Take some moments to reflect on your own capacity to care for others, to attend to their needs and to find compassion and generosity in your own heart.
Sense deeply the places of ease and happiness that are woven within the fabric of your life. Let appreciation fill your heart and mind.
Opening One's Heart to a Stranger
Spiritual Practice by Joseph Goldstein
I was in India, and there was an old gardener at the little monastery where I was staying. I saw him every day, but I had never really given him any thought at all. He was just somebody I noticed in passing. It was quite startling to realize how many such people there were around me, beings for whom I had completely neutral feelings. That in itself was an illuminating discovery.
So, every day for weeks, I began visualizing this old gardener in my meditation, repeating phrases like "May you be happy, may you be peaceful, may you be free from suffering." After a while I began to feel great warmth and caring for him, and every time we passed my heart just opened.
What Is This Fear?
Spiritual Practice by Allan Lokos
When feeling angry, tense, or anxious, remind yourself that these feelings are grounded in fear. Stop and try to identify the cause of the fear.
When you experience impatience, resentment, or anger, stop and ask yourself All right, what is this fear? It can be difficult for some of us big guys to acknowledge fear. But it is an absolutely normal feeling and part of the human condition. Ask yourself quietly, "What is this fear?" Remember, thoughts, words, emotions, and deeds, not coming from love, are likely coming from fear.
Eating Mindfully
Spiritual Practice by Donald Altman
"Each meal, each morsel, is a gift. Even if you are single and eat many meals by yourself, that is why you never really eat alone. Consider for a moment, how each meal brings you into communion with the community at large.
"The earth provides a bounty of food. Farmers plant seeds and harvest crops. Truckers transport food to local distribution centers. Retailers stock the shelves.
"This great chain of being and giving never ends. That you are part of a community and a planet that share food is one of the amazing gifts of being. In the broader sense, is not each meal — indeed, everything in your life — something that is given? This is true even when you work for your meals — because even one's livelihood can be viewed as a blessing.
"Be mindful that each foodstuff connects us to our planet and our community."
Spiritual Practice of the Day
It is only natural to appreciate the recognition of others. Rather than trying to negate this particular tendency . . . carry it lightly.
Spiritual Practice of the Day
Even Socrates, who lived a very frugal and simple life, loved to go to the market. When his students asked about this, he replied, "I love to go and see all the things I am happy without."
Spiritual Practice of the Day
Strawberries are too delicate to be picked by machine. . . . Every strawberry you have ever eaten — every piece of fruit — has been picked by callused human hands. Every piece of toast with jelly represents someone's knees, someone's aching back and hips, someone with a bandana on her wrist to wipe away the sweat.
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Spiritual Practice of the Day
In a Buddhist monastery, monks treat the guideline of not taking what is not given with utmost seriousness. Monks do not take the razor, book, robe, or begging bowl of another monk without securing permission first. It is a discipline in letting go, in patience, and in waiting for something to be available.
Sharing Food
Spiritual Practice by Donald Altman
May 12
"For some, leftovers are associated with poverty. For others, they signify a treasure that is not to be wasted. It seems that people either love leftovers or hate them.
"After a meal, what do you do with the leftovers? Do you consistently eat more than you want to avoid leftovers and feel guilty about doing it? Do you cringe at the idea of reheated food? Or do you find ways of combining your leftovers to make a new and unique meal? In this sense, leftovers may tell you more about yourself and your willingness to adapt.
"Even if you cannot stand to eat leftovers, you can still find a way to offer the food to others. A gift of food to another is always appreciated with love and joy."
Seeing the Secret Goodness
Spiritual Practice by Jack Kornfield
Wait for a day when you awaken in a fine mood, when your heart is open to the world. If such days are rare, choose the best you have. Before you start for work, set the clear intention that during the morning you will look for the inner nobility of three people. Carry that intention in your heart as you speak or work with them. Notice how this perception affects your interaction with them, how it affects your own heart, how it affects your work. Then choose five more days of your best moods, and do this practice on each of those days.
After looking at three people a day in this way five times, set the clear intention to practice seeing the secret goodness for a whole day with as many people as you can. Of course, you will find certain people difficult. Save them for later, and practice first with those whose nobility and beauty is seen most easily. When you have done the best you can for a day, choose one day a week to continue this practice for a month or two.
Finally, as you become more naturally able to see the secret goodness, expand your practice. Add more days. Try practicing on days that are more stressful. Gradually include strangers and difficult people, until your heart learns to silently acknowledge and bless all whom you meet. Aim to see as many beings as you can with a silent, loving respect. Go through the day as if you were the Dalai Lama undercover.
Finding Peace by Speaking Less
Spiritual Practice by Joseph Goldstein
I once did an experiment that I found very beneficial toward understanding the importance of speech and its effect on the mind. As a kind of training, I decided that for a period of three months I would not speak about any third person. That is, I wouldn't speak to someone about someone else. I discovered several things from doing this. First, my mind became much less judgmental because I wasn't giving voice to the various judgments in my mind — even good ones. And as I judged others less, I found that I judged myself less as well. Second, I discovered in this experiment that about 90 percent of my speech was eliminated. This silence led to a lot more peace of mind. It was astonishing to see so clearly how much of the time our talk is about other people.
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