Men Can Now Initiate Conversations On Bumble—Here’s Why It Matters - Sun and Planets Spirituality AYINRIN
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Men
can now initiate conversations on Bumble. The dating app, once unique
for requiring women to initiate conversations with potential matches,
adjusted its policies this week. Female users thought making the first
move was too much of a burden, so their potential dates can now make the
first contact. The change highlights the difficulty in moving away from
traditional dating norms.
Bumble
founder Whitney Wolfe Herd started the company to put women in control
of their dating lives. In an open letter to Bumble users in 2020, she wrote,
“For all the advances women had been making in workplaces and corridors
of power, the gender dynamics of dating and romance still seemed so
outdated. I thought, what if I could flip that on its head? What if
women made the first move and sent the first message?” In other words,
Bumble was created to empower women in the dating world.
But empowerment comes with its drawbacks. Wolfe Herd recently told the New York Times
New York Times
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that Bumble received feedback from women who found that making the
first move was “a lot of work” or “a burden.” So, the app now allows men
(in straight couples) to make the first move.
The new feature, “Opening Moves,”
allows women to place a question on their profile, and men who match
can respond. (For non-binary users or those seeking a date of the same
gender, both can set and respond to a question). The new feature was
announced this week by Lidiane Jones, who replaced Wolfe Herd as Bumble
CEO in January.
Users
can choose from a list of suggested Opening Moves, such as “What’s your
ideal first date?” or “How many episodes of a series is it acceptable
to watch in one sitting?” or they can write their own Opening Move
question.
The
Bumble change comes at a time when more women are choosing paths that
emphasize ease over authority, at least when it comes to dating. The
increase of 'stay-at-home girlfriends' (SAHGs) on social media is an
example of this trend.
The Wall Street Journal
recently reported on the rise of the SAHGs, explaining “Being a
stay-at-home girlfriend (or SAHG for short) is all about supporting your
boyfriend with tasks like cooking and housework, plus a rigorous
self-care regimen to keep up appearances. The phenomenon reflects a Gen Z
move away from mid-2000s ‘girlboss’ hustle culture, and toward
aspirations of a softer life.”
Wolfe
Herd and the Bumble community weren’t wrong in their observations. The
tasks that come with equality and empowerment can be a burden. This is
one of the strongest obstacles to gender equality—on any given day, it’s
easier to relinquish power to someone else and take the easier route.
In
the dating world, expecting a man to make the first move in a straight
relationship is similar to other traditional acts of chivalry, such as
opening doors, paying for dates, or pulling out chairs. These norms are
difficult to change because, on the surface, they seem to benefit women.
The woman gets a free dinner and need not open her own door.
In
reality, these chivalrous acts ultimately harm women. They reinforce
stereotypes that women need men’s protection and help. Researchers have found
that this chivalry can negatively impact how women think of themselves
and how others treat them—not just on a date but also at work.
Ideally,
gender wouldn’t influence who opens doors, pays for dates or initiates
contact on a dating app. For those looking to break away from
traditional dating norms, women on Bumble can opt out of the Opening
Moves feature and continue to make the first move if they choose.
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